Thursday, 19 November 2015

That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)



More deleted scenes, this time from Hothouse, released way back April 2009 and written even wayer back in April and May 2008. If you haven’t heard it, it starred Paul McGann and Sheridan Smith as the Doctor and Lucie and guest-starred Nigel Planer (!) and Lysette Anthony (!). Which are four good reasons for buying it, which you can do here.

I’ve blogged elsewhere about the story here (part one) and here (part two) and put up the synopsis of the storyline Blooming Horrible, which after four or five reworkings became Hothouse. My main memory of writing the story is that I wanted it to be an eco-thriller set a few years in the future, non-specifically inspired by a drama called Black Easter from 1995. Hothouse is sadly prescient in the same way that Black Easter is, depicting a future where Muslim refugees are desperate to enter Europe which has closed its borders, being smuggled in by criminals and sold into slavery. I also thought it would be interesting to have a villain that was an ‘eco-fascist’ – someone who wants to save the planet and is prepared to kill in order to do so. I’m not sure how effectively that came across but that’s what I was aiming for.

The problem with the play – and a fair criticism it received – was that it didn’t do much new with the Krynoid monster itself; I did try to break new ground but the modus operandi of the monster did rather predicate the plot, because you want it to do all the cool Krynoid stuff in The Seeds of Doom and to remain consistent with that story. But I think – I hope – there’s enough new stuff elsewhere in the story to make up for it. And I had fun putting in an incredibly obscure in-joke to Tom Baker’s appearance on Animal Magic and naming a character Christina Ondrak after a friend from Austria.

Anyway, deleted scenes! The following are bits that got cut from my first draft.

Originally Alex Marlow wasn’t a rock star, he was an ecologist, as Hazel explains:

HAZEL:
(EXPLANATION) Alex Marlow. Nobel prize-winning ecologist. Made a name for himself travelling the world, rescuing endangered species. Now he’s moved into politics, fronting ‘The League of Nature’. Claims he wants to save the planet.

DOCTOR:
About time somebody did. The human capacity for denial and groundless optimism...

HAZEL:
Since the tragedy in Dhaka, the group’s profile has increased dramatically. Over eighty million paid-up members. And, as far as we can gather, their subs have been pumped into this place, The Hothouse.

DOCTOR:
So you don’t think he’s using it for conservation?

HAZEL:
If he was, why keep it quiet? The guy’s not exactly a shrinking violet. But he’s been paranoid about keeping this place off the radar...

This exchange from part two was rewritten, it was a bit too formal in the first draft, though I like the ‘politically correct’ bit:

MARLOW:
Tough decisions, Doctor, tough decisions! I have no argument with the human race, but the current population just isn’t viable. I don’t want billions dying of thirst in some Malthusian catastrophe. Humanity needs to be pruned back to a... sustainable level.

DOCTOR:
You make mass genocide sound like horticulture.

MARLOW:
Similar principle. Say, a hundred million individuals...

DOCTOR:
(SARCASTIC) Right-thinking, of course.

MARLOW:
Oh, of course. (JOKING) Don’t want any riff-raff in our garden of Eden, do we? (SERIOUS) No, I was thinking more of a random cull – a life lottery, if you like - with a view to maintaining ethnic biodiversity. I’m nothing if not ‘politically correct’.

DOCTOR:
Let me get this straight. You want me to find a way of making the Krynoids remain ‘human’ - in mind, if not in body...

MARLOW:
If you could. And I’d do it soon... needn’t remind you, your friend’s life is at stake...

But apart from odd lines here and there, I didn’t cut much from the first draft; instead, the second draft was when I added all the stuff about the Doctor having become disenchanted with humanity after spending centuries with a bunch of clams in Orbis.

After that, the story went through another draft, as I hadn’t included (because I hadn’t known about) the idea that the Doctor would not remember Lucie, so they would need to regain each others’ trust. This draft wasn’t by me; it was by Alan Barnes, Nick Briggs and Barnaby Edwards. To be honest, I was grateful to be spared another round of notes, and they are all very accomplished and experienced writers who’ve written loads of great Doctor Who stories so their changes were all good ideas which I was perfectly happy to take the credit for! But even writing this I’m kind of overstating things; looking at the script now, most of the changes are to scene directions, the end script is still 95% me; the only bit that was substantially rewritten was the section where the Doctor and Hazel sneak into the base in the back of a lorry, just to make the action clearer, and the only new scene was the final scene with the Doctor and Lucie in the car. Which includes the only bit of the story that bugs me – the reference to the Eight Truths doomsday cult. Not because there’s anything wrong with it, it’s a clever bit of setting-up for a story later on in the series, it’s just because in my head Hothouse is set forty or fifty years in the future, whereas the story called The Eight Truths is set in the present day. But I don’t think anybody has ever noticed so I’m not going to complain about it either!

But then the story went through one more draft, by me! In this draft I added the element of Alex Marlow being a Sting-ish ex-rock star, to make him more interesting/distinct from Harrison Chase; I remember having fun trying to come up a plausible name for a rock band that hadn’t been used. Hence ‘The Experts’. I also added the bit about the space-time telegraph to explain why the Doctor had turned up. But again, looking through the script now, it really is just odd words and sentences here and there – just me rewriting bits of my own stuff that sounded clunky. So no deleted scenes, I'm afraid!

Sunday, 15 November 2015

Perfect World

Another voyage down the yesteryear ship canal, this time Doctor Who: A Perfect World. It’s a one-episode story that was released with Time Reef by Marc Platt back in September 2008 and was written in January of that year. As usual, if you haven't heard it, buy it now.


It was a very quick turnaround, for some reason, going from synopsis to finished script in about two weeks. Looking at the synopsis, the big difference was that originally the aliens were multi-dimensional beings called Zinebil; Nicholas Briggs suggested making them more mundane and functional which is how they ended up being dimensional plumbers, which is far more interesting. Amazingly, one of them was played by Nicholas Farrell, a great actor who has been in everything, and who was happy to ‘muck in’ in the studio after being cast for Time Reef.

The brief for this episode was to write out the character of Thomas Brewster, created and introduced in The Haunting of Thomas Brewster. It must have been a verbal brief because I can’t find any emails about it. Anyway, I decided, or it was suggested to me, to write out Brewster by having him fall in love. The story was written partially from personal experience based on a relationship from several years earlier and mostly from wish-fulfilment. At the time I’d written a few romantic comedy sitcom scripts and so a love story came very easily (I think, though to be honest this was all so long ago I’m guessing).

Looking at the script, I think it holds up okay, it’s very sweet and the characterisation is good, but I’m not sure it works as a Doctor Who story. Maybe that doesn’t matter, maybe it’s good to occasionally subvert the format, but I can’t help feeling it would’ve been better if the story had been told in a more Doctor Who-ey way. But I love this bit, it's both heartfelt and deeply silly:

DOCTOR
Because… life isn’t perfect. Take away the opportunity to get things wrong and you take away the reason for getting things right. Being human is all about the mistakes, the imperfections, the failures! Burning the toast! Losing your keys! Getting off at the wrong stop! For some people, small, pointless blunders are what life is all about!

What is quite nice is the way the script echoes elements of The Haunting of Thomas Brewster, for instance by having Brewster meet Connie on Southwark bridge. Which leads us to the only cut bit (this is cut by me, from the first draft, before anyone else saw it), where they go to a cafe and chat over coffee:

BREWSTER
Yeah. And you know what the best thing is? Men have stopped going around with big, bushy beards.

CONNIE LAUGHS. SHE LIKES THIS GUY. HE LIKES HER.

BREWSTER (CONT'D)
But think about it. This world, right, people have spent hundreds of years working to make it better, fighting wars for a better future, suffering (from) –

CONNIE
Look, I know what you're going to say, and you're right, but... I don't know... It just doesn't make facing tomorrow any easier.

And, er... that’s it. Apart from odd lines here and there, I didn’t cut much from the script before I handed it in as a first draft, and then – after script editor Alan Barnes had added a few bits, such as Connie’s phone call to her mother in the penultimate scene – that was it!

Oh, and a reference to Heat magazine became Celeb Goss, because references to real-life brands are problematic, and the following bit got changed, a pity because it was one of my favourite lines:

NEW CONNIE
What could be wrong with that?
 
OUR CONNIE
I've gotta go - you're all... 'pod people' from the planet Benetton!

Of course, Thomas Brewster would later return in The Crimes of Thomas Brewster, in which we learn that Connie, the love of Brewster’s life, has met an arbitrarily tragic fate. But that’s another story...

Saturday, 14 November 2015

Smoke And Mirrors


More deleted scenes. It’s only just occurred to me that I seem to have missed doing a ‘deleted’ scenes for The Haunting of Thomas Brewster, written in October 2007 (over eight years ago!) and released in April 2008 (nearly eight years ago!). As usual, please don't read the deleted scenes if you have not already bought and listened to the story.

Note: director Barnaby Edwards' very interesting production notes on the story can also be read here.

The main thing to bear in mind with the script for this is that it was originally written in Final Draft, and then reformatted/exported to word. So it wasn’t in the normal Big Finish script format, it was in a movie format. As a result, the first draft looked as though episode one was far too long when in fact it was probably a bit short; I then edited it down further and that’s why episode one of the released story is so short (and why it seems to have more music than usual, in order to pad it out). Ah well. You live and learn; in my case, I learned that it would probably be a good idea to write in the Big Finish script format in future. I’d also made the mistake of including far too long/detailed descriptions; lovely for a movie or TV script, but not a good idea for audio.

For instance, this was the first page:

1. INT. PARLOUR

AFTER TITLES, WE OPEN WITH A NARRATION FROM THOMAS BREWSTER. BREWSTER IS 18, UNEDUCATED, LONDON EAST-END/COCKNEY ACCENT. HE'S LIVED A LIFE OF HARD KNOCKS, AND HAS A DISRESPECTFUL ATTITUDE, A TEENAGER'S SWAGGER, SLY, GUARDED, CASUAL AND AGGRESSIVE. THINK A YOUNG PHIL DANIELS.

BREWSTER
The first thing I remember is my mother's funeral. I would've been about four or five, it's kind of hard to judge when you ain't had no birthdays. But there I was, in this dark parlour, with all these aunts and uncles and God knows what else.

AS BREWSTER SPEAKS, WE BEGIN TO HEAR THE SOUNDS OF THE FUNERAL WAKE - AUNTS AND UNCLES CHATTING, COUGHING, DRINKS, THE TICKING OF A GRANDFATHER CLOCK. OUTSIDE, HAWKERS, TRADERS, HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGES.

BREWSTER (CONT'D)
I can still see the room, clear, like it was yesterday. The wallpaper, it had this pattern of roses. And, and there were these heavy curtains - I spent half the day hiding in 'em, not wanting to be seen. It had this musty smell, like tobacco, moth balls - old folks smells. And in the middle of it all was my dearly departed mother, laid out in a box.

WE'RE NOW IN THE PARLOUR. AUNTS MEG AND LILIAN TWO ARE BOTH IN THEIR SIXTIES, AS IS HIS UNCLE TOBY, WHO IS GRIZZLY AND TIPSY, AND COUGHING AND EXHALING AS THOUGH SMOKING THROUGHOUT

So what was cut or changed between the first and second drafts? Let’s see what Word’s ‘Compare’ function has found and move into the world of italics...

Well, not that much. Odd words and sentences. And the end of this scene, scene 7, which was cut:

DOCTOR
The boy, Brewster, has he mentioned having any... bad dreams at all?

SHANKS
Bad dreams?

NYSSA
Supernatural nocturnal visitations-

DOCTOR
Ghosts, voices, hallucinations -

SHANKS
I see. You intend to waste my time with... trifles and absurdities-

DOCTOR
Mr Shanks, you have to help us. The future of the human race depends on it!

SHANKS
Indeed?

DOCTOR
This boy is of crucial importance to the history of this planet. Something is coming for him, Mr Shanks... Something terrible...

DOOR OPENS AND THE CONVERSATION GETS CLEARER.

SHANKS
Mr Scroggins, if you will escort these two... personages from the premises. Good-day to you both-

DOOR OPENS AGAIN AND A BOY'S FEET ARE RUNNING.

SHANKS (CONT'D)
Brewster!

The other main difference is that the character of Creek was originally called Cripps. I’d written him for Andy Hamilton to play, fact fans, and he was actually cast for the part but was unwell on the day of recording.

This bit was cut because... well, reading it now, I don’t understand what Pickens is on about it, so it was probably because of that!

BREWSTER
Mr Cripps said you'd cut me putty and soap, I don't know-

PICKENS
Cheese and bread. Help yourself, there's pie and beer for afters.

BREWSTER
Thanks... thank you, sir...

DURING THIS, BREWSTER STARTS EATING HUNGRILY

PICKENS
I'm not 'sir', we're all the same down here. Well, except for those of us that's slightly better.

The following bit was revised, as director Barnaby Edwards helpfully pointed out that Tower Bridge hadn’t been built at the time the story was set! That old ‘historical accuracy’ problem!

THE BOYS RUN ON. DISTANT FOG HORNS SOUND AGAIN. RATS.

BREWSTER (NARRATION) (CONT'D)
We weren't alone on the banks that night - slithering around us were dozens and dozens of rats. It was the best I could do not to slip, my boots sinking into the ooze, not being able to see nothing but the misty lights of Tower Bridge...

PICKENS
Brewster, the good stuff's all down at the shoreline, not up there-

One thing I was keen on in writing this story was to get in as much authentic Victorian slang as possible; even if you don’t know what the words mean it’s obvious what they mean from their context. Maybe I went a bit far with it, but, well, I was eager to show off! As demonstrated in this next bit:

CRIPPS
Brewster? Now, let me think - there was a kinchin, while ago, mind you - tipped his rags he did, piked off -

DOCTOR
You're saying he's left?

CRIPPS
And done me out of pocket!

DOCTOR
Right. Well, Mr Cripps, if you do see Brewster again... I am prepared to make it worth your while...

CRIPPS
What?

DOCTOR
Compensated for your trouble. Say, twenty pounds?

CRIPPS
Twenty and a finny?

DOCTOR
If you can locate him in the next hour, yes. Time is of the essence-

CRIPPS
I'll see what I can do. What you want him for? In trouble is he?

NYSSA
We can't really say-

DOCTOR
It's more that he'll be in trouble if we don't find him...

A little moment of violence that got cut/rewritten:

CRIPPS
You'll do as you're asked, boy!

BREWSTER
No- !

CRIPPS
No-one leaves my gang... except in the manner of my choosing!

THERE IS THE SOUND OF SOMEONE FALLING AGAINST A CASE WHICH SMASHES. THE CONTENTS THUMP HEAVILY TO THE FLOOR.

CRIPPS (CONT'D)
Aaah - come back - !

RUNNING ACROSS WOODEN FLOOR. SHOP DOOR OPENS, BELL JANGLES

CRIPPS (CONT'D)
I'll get you, you little prig!

CRIPPS, USING HIS STICK AS A CRUTCH, GIVES CHASE

Onto episode two... and not much seems to have been cut at all. This scene, in which we discover a time machine based on the same principles as the one in The Evil of the Daleks, was rewritten a bit, losing Nyssa’s marvellously melodramatic closing line.

PICKENS
It's like he's built a whole lighthouse down here - 

A CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY. PICKENS IS INJURED - OUCH!

PICKENS (CONT'D)
It's electric-

NYSSA
He's using the mirrors and the lenses to focus the static charge-

PICKENS
What?

THE WIND BECOMES A ROAR AS THE MACHINE GOES INTO OVERDRIVE. 

NYSSA
The powers he's harnessing are far in advance of human technology!

The end of episode two was different – in draft two some business establishing that Brewster was frozen to the spot was added, originally it was shorter and simpler:

PICKENS
What are those things?

NYSSA
I don't know-

PICKENS
Demons... or imps... or goblins...

NYSSA
They seem to be... composed of smoke. A sort of... living smoke!

PICKENS
It's the dead! Spirits of the dead!

THE STRANGE HISSING, GURGLING LAUGHING CREATURES ARE EVERYWHERE NOW, WHOOSHING ROUND AND ROUND THE STEREO IMAGE.

THERE IS A SUDDEN, LOUD, VENOMOUS, HISS. AND PICKENS STARTS TO COUGH. AND SPUTTER. AND CHOKE. HE'S SUFFOCATING. 

HE WHEEZES, AGONISINGLY.

NYSSA SCREAMS -

MOTHER
Welcome... to the future! Welcome to the year two thousand and eight!


This bit from part three wasn’t cut but I like it so much I’m going to put it here anyway. It’s based on an idea for a Doctor Who story I had back when I was a teenager, the idea of the present being invaded by a potential future. Back then, it was all set in a shopping centre at night, though...

DOCTOR
Of course! By their own bootstraps!

MCINTOSH
Sorry, did you say 'bootstraps'?

DOCTOR
They're pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps!

NYSSA
You mean, an ontological time-loop?

MCINTOSH
No, not following, I'm afraid -

BREWSTER
I was with you as far as "bootstraps".

DOCTOR
Explain, Nyssa.

NYSSA
In a quantum universe, all futures are possible, though some are more probable than others. Now, one of those futures must be one in which these creatures control the Earth.

MCINTOSH
That's a possibility?

NYSSA
A very remote one. But, if in that future, they have the capacity to send information back through time -

DOCTOR
- for instance, instructions on how to buildcreate a time corridor -

NYSSA
They can then use that time corridor to travel back into the past, to influence events so that the future, in which they occupy the Earth, becomes more likely.

DOCTOR
And the more likely it becomes... the greater their presence in this time! So what was once just a possibility, becomes a probability -

NYSSA
...which becomes a certainty. They invade the past, in order to create the future from which they invaded the past. It's perfectly logical.

BREWSTER
I was with you as far as "bootstraps".

Originally the Doctor had more of a reaction to Robert’s death, but this whole scene got cut because it was slowing down the action (they are being attacked by smoke monsters at this point).

50. INT. LIVING ROOM.

NYSSA AND BREWSTER RUN IN. 

NYSSA
Doctor -!

DOCTOR DISTANT, APPROACHING THROUGH DOOR.

DOCTOR
What is it? 

BREWSTER
Those things - they've got in - they're using the chimneys -

DOCTOR
Where's Robert?

NYSSA
He's dead, Doctor.

DOCTOR
What! 

BREWSTER
It wasn't my fault, they were too fleet, (too many) -

DOCTOR
What did you do to him, Brewster?

BREWSTER
I couldn't save him, that doesn't mean I wanted him choked...

NYSSA
He died saving our lives, Doctor.

DOCTOR
Of course, that's very like him... the poor fellow. I seem to make a habit of underestimating people... and losing good friends.

HISS OF APPROACHING CREATURE DOWN FIREPLACE.

NYSSA
Listen, Doctor!

THE CREATURE IS GROWING LOUDER

BREWSTER
I know these kens. The fireplaces are all joined by flue pipes to the same chimney - it can follow us -

DOCTOR
Right. Everybody - upstairs!

Onto part four, and again, hardly anything cut got! Here’s a couple of lines that did, a bit too say-what-you-see:

NYSSA
I'm more concerned that this bridge will give way... it's half rotten - 

DOCTOR
Here, I've got you -

THEY ARE ACROSS THE GANGPLANK. THE SMOKE CREATURES BEGIN TO MAKE THEIR PRESENCE HEARD.

NYSSA
There are dead things down there.

And finally, and interestingly, because I have no memory of this, here’s the original ending, in which the Doctor and Nyssa leave with Brewster rather than being left behind by him. No idea how this came about or why it was changed!

82. INT. STUDY

DOOR OPENS AS THE DOCTOR AND NYSSA RUSH IN - TO HEAR THE FAMILIAR TARDIS DEMATERIALIZATION SOUND.

DOCTOR
I don't believe it! He's done it again!

TARDIS SOUND FADES, LEAVING SILENCE SAVE FOR THE TICKING OF THE CLOCK.

NYSSA
No - wait - -

AND, SURE ENOUGH, THE TARDIS SOUND RETURNS - AND IT LANDS WITH A RESOUNDING 'CRUMP'. THE TARDIS DOOR SWINGS OPEN.

DOCTOR
Brewster- !

BREWSTER
I was just thinking... it's kind of lonely in there, travelling through time and stuff on my own, and I thought you might like to join me.

DOCTOR
We might like to join you?

BREWSTER
As my companions, like.

DOCTOR
As your companions!

BREWSTER
Hey, it was just a thought. You don't have to if you don't want to -

NYSSA
What do you think, Doctor? It's quite an offer! "Companions"...!

DOCTOR
Very well! Welcome aboard, Thomas Brewster.

VOICES MUFFLED AS THEY STEP INSIDE. DOOR SHUTS.

DOCTOR (CONT'D)
But let's get one thing straight - I do all the driving -

BREWSTER
Yeah, whatever you say -

DOCTOR
So don't touch (that switch) !

BUT IT'S TOO LATE. THE TARDIS HAS TAKEN OFF...

Thursday, 5 November 2015

Cabin Essence


Another blog to plug a new thing by me that has just been released; the third series of Big Finish’s audio drama Survivors (based upon and paralleling to the 1970s TV series) begins with an episode I’ve written called Cabin Fever. The title was one of those fortunate occurrences where, after you’ve written the synopsis, you suddenly come up with a title which fits it so beautifully that people would think you’d had the idea for the title first. 

What it’s about, in brief, is the first few days of the outbreak. I think with these sorts of shows – Day of the Triffids, 28 Days Later, The Walking Dead – the beginning of the outbreak when the panic escalates and civilisation breaks down is often the most interesting and dramatic bit, but also tends to get skipped over because it’s also the toughest bit to write. I think Terry Nation did an excellent job with the first episode of Survivors and I was delighted that Matt Fitton did an equally excellent job with the opening episode of the Big Finish audio series. There’s so much potential to explore there, how the outbreak of a black-death-style plague would impact on various locations, communities and so on. How would affect people in a prison? Or on an oil rig? Or an isolated village, where they would know there was a chance they could save themselves by imposing a quarantine.

And with Cabin Fever, the idea is, what about the people who were on a cross-channel ferry at the time of the outbreak? Stuck in international waters, refused access to any ports, with food and water running out, cut off from the outside world, not sure if there even is anyone with the disease on board... so if someone gets sick, what do you do with them? And with that idea, I put myself into Terry Nation mode and wrote it as he would’ve written it, as straightforwardly and truthfully as possible. No frills, no fancy stuff.

The other thing is that the inspiration for this story came from real life. Not the bit about a plague wiping out ninety-nine percent of the Earth, which has never happened to me personally, but the stuff about being stuck on a passenger ferry for hours on end during stormy weather. It was on an exchange trip, folk from Milverton visiting the stunning village of Longny-au-Perche, on the way out I think. I can still remember that trip; the heaving, rolling corridors, the waves bursting over the prow of the boat (it was like the storm in David Copperfield  to save me describing it) and the smells... the oily stink of the engines as you got lower in the boat, and the overpowering reek of the passenger lounge, where it smelt like every person in there had thrown up (because they had).

And I discovered that, while I get travel sick in cars and buses, I don’t get seasick at all. Didn’t even feel nauseous. Lucky, that.

Anyway, Survivors series three, including Cabin Fever by me, is out now. Buy it here!

What people have said on twitter:

"Survivors series 3 off to the bleakest of starts... chills down the spine stuff."

"Brilliant & frightening."

"Easily the best and most immediately relevant of the 12 Survivors installments to date" according to this review.