Another review from the archives, this one originally published in The Complete Sixth Doctor back in 2002
Attack Of The
Cybermen
“We realise this must be confusing for you.”
Remember Saturday afternoons? Peanut butter sandwiches and Trios… no, I’m
not going to be nostalgic. I didn’t watch Attack
of the Cybermen on its original broadcast, I was out and videoed it, and
even then my copy began with ‘Unstable? Unstable? UNSTABLE?’ No. I’ve just watched my BBC video – in
specially-cropped ‘widescreen’. And I loved it. Probably just as much as I did
13 years ago.
Okay, so in retrospect there are some problems. It’s too
violent, yes, which gave Michael Grade the excuse he was looking for. Possibly
there is too much leather-jacket machismo; too many grim-jawed gangsters and
not enough joy. And aright, yes, so the Doctor’s costume is distracting (though
not quite as distracting as Peri’s).
I’ll readily admit the CyberController is tubby and the Chameleon
circuit gag isn’t funny and forty-five minutes of Doctor Who is too much in one go. And if you point out that the
climax is poorly staged, I’d agree, but that applies to virtually every Doctor Who story – endings don’t need to
be good, there’s a new story next week! And, okay, so the incidental music is
not very incidental.
But aside from all that, it’s thrilling. It’s fast-paced,
action-packed and looks terrific. As gritty and filmic as a proper television
programme. The opening bank raid – ‘Lose the motor’, ‘Seven pounds of plastic’
– it’s like Minder! The wonderfully
grey surface of Telos - those shots through the mist of the alien moon! And
darkness and shadows – how often do you get to see proper quality gloom in an
80’s Doctor Who? And the Cybermen’s
entrance in the sewers – just how cool is that?
Then there’s the superb and committed cast – Brian Glover
and Maurice Colbourne, for goodness’ sake! One day I will even work out which
one of the Cryons is Sarah Greene (I’ve already worked out which one was Faith
Browne, that wasn’t difficult).
But the best thing about Attack
of the Cybermen is the story. It’s ingenious. It brings together all sorts
of baggage and turns in an exciting, dynamic plot. The way it combines the
destruction of Mondas, with the tombs on Telos, and the invasion fleet,
together with Halley’s comet – it’s an extraordinarily dextrous piece of work.
The inclusion of the Cryons is inspired and fascinating. Plus there’s a great
twist regarding Lytton’s motivation, which in turn gives the Doctor a proper
slice of character development.
Some people claim there’s too much ‘continuity’. But it’s
all explained – quite cleverly – within the story, and it’s used as a source of
inspiration rather than derivation. Okay, so the Totter’s Lane business and
Chameleon Circuit uncomedy and all the references to Time Lords are somewhat
over-egging the soufflé – largely because they never turn out to be relevant.
And in retrospect the Doctor’s lines about believing the CyberController to be
destroyed, and not knowing why Mondas was being piloted through space, do seem
a bit erroneous. And, yes, it’s a bit of Cyberman Greatest Hits compilation – but what’s wrong with that? Every
band’s best album is its Greatest Hits.
At its heart, Attack
of the Cybermen is about making the Cybermen scary. It’s about the horror
of Cyberconversion, in the same way that Revelation
of the Daleks is about… er… Dalekisation? We see the rejects of aborted
conversions, we see the results of failed revivifications, we see Lytton and
other characters undergoing transformation… this is a story that really knows
what it’s doing. The Cybermen are portrayed as a desperate, dying race – how
often does that happen?
And, apparently, it was co-written by the guy who gave
Robbie Williams his first break into showbusiness. Wow.
So I can forgive it having the Doctor say ‘I am known as the
Doctor’ before giving his home address. I don’t mind the CyberLieutenant
sounding like Fozzy Bear. And I’ll turn a blind eye to the Doctor shooting the
baddies. Because… Attack of the Cybermen
is fab. Fab. FAB!