After reading the excellent interview with m’colleague Simon
Guerrier here, I was reminded that, just as he had originally written his Destiny
of the Doctor adventure Shadow of Death to feature a cameo from the eleventh
Doctor (the Matt Smith one), I’d done the same with my story in the same
series, Babblesphere (previously blogged about here).
When I wrote the first draft, I was under the impression
that each story would be introduced by the eleventh Doctor. So this is how he
might’ve introduced mine:
ELEVENTH
DOCTOR:
Stop!
Pay attention! And please put that
thing down! Yes, that thing you’re pretending not to look at, that thing you’re
secretly tapping-away-on when you think nobody’s looking. Because I need you to
listen to what happened to me a few
regenerations ago, when I was travelling with Romana. The posh one. Well, all
the Romanas were posh. The one who looked a bit like the blonde one out of
ABBA. That one. Anyway, when I was travelling with her, we went to this planet
where the whole secretly-tapping-when-you-should-be-paying-attention thing had
got completely out of hand. In fact, the situation had become so desperate
there was only one person in the whole cosmos who could possibly save the day.
No, not Romana. Me!
OPENING
THEME.
And this is what his cameo at the end would’ve been like. It’s
a bit of a spoiler so maybe click away now if you haven’t heard it. Most of
this dialogue was used as direct speech in the story.
(FX:
ELEVENTH DOCTOR’S VOICE DRIFTS OUT OF ALL THE BABBLE)
ELEVENTH
DOCTOR:
Hello
there! Sorry about dropping in on you like this, realise you’ve got your hands
full and all that, but – ooh, Romana! Haven’t seen you for ages! This takes me
back! When I had the hair and the mad, scary eyes! And the scarf and the coat
with all the capacious pockets. Those were the days! The Nimon, Vesuvius, Zodaal
and Scaroth, the last of the Jagaroth! Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Important.
You’re about to knock out the computer thing. Well, just to ask that you don’t
actually destroy it. If you could stick
it somewhere safe, then I’ll remember where you put it, and pick it up later.
Don’t forget where you put it, or I won’t know where to find it! Now if I
recall correctly, which I think do, I was in the process of overwhelming the computer
thing with a barrage of pointless facts. So just to help you out, I’ll throw
some of my own into the mix. Top five monsters! Number five, Ice Warriors. Ice
Warriors are cool. Literally. That’s why they’re cool. Number four, has to be
the Ood. Number three, the Mandrils. Number two, the Bandrils. And number one, bit
of a surprise, the Chumblies! There, I think that may just have tipped the
balance!