I Can See Clearly Now

Got a letter from Vision Express the other day. Apparently my type of monthly contact lenses are being discontinued. First my headphones, now my eyes. Is nothing safe any more?

Fortunately, it turns out that although my type of contact lenses are being discontinued, they are being replaced by a marginally-improved version of the same. Phewee.

I’m on a type of contact lenses which means you only have to replace them once a month and you can sleep with them in. I’m lucky in that I have naturally moist eyes so I don’t get irritation, so long as I remember to remain hydrated.

And you have no idea how much I value them. After 25-odd years of waking up in a blur, of being unable to see anything more than six inches from my nose, I can still remember the extraordinary rush of wonder and excitement I got the first time I woke up with the contacts in – opening my eyes to discover a world in vivid focus. Something which hadn’t been the case since I was 4.

I can’t recommend these contacts too highly. Hell, even people with perfect eyesight should wear them, they’re so great, why not join in the party?

I never liked wearing glasses. They made me look like a geek. I prefer that to come as surprise when I start to talk. And one of the reasons why I’ve never been keen on sports was because glasses get in the way, not just physically with the seeing and the running, but it terms of having really poor eye-hand co-ordination. And they mist up in pubs and get spattered with rain and you can’t kiss a girl while wearing them.

Now all they have to do is invent contact lenses you can wear whilst swimming.