Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps)

My 2009 Doctor Who audios Hothouse and The Cannibalists are on sale today for £5 only. Click here to buy it. (Other excellent Doctor Who audios by Alan Barnes, Barnaby Edwards, Nicholas Briggs, Pat Mills and Eddie Robson are also available).

As a preview-type "tasters", here are the first pages of both scripts.

HOTHOUSE

PART ONE

(PRE-TITLE SEQUENCE:)

1. NEWS BROADCAST

(A NEWS BROADCAST, RADIO 4-ISH. FEMALE ANNOUNCER. SPOOKS-STYLE MUSIC – WE NEED TO HIT THE GROUND RUNNING. MODERN. URGENT)

(FX: THE FOLLOWING SPEECH SHOULD BE CUT-UP – BRIEF SNATCHES HEARD, OVERLAPPING, IN ORDER TO GIVE IT MORE SPEED AND URGENCY)

ANNOUNCER(S):
… [end] to the drought that has affected Britain for the last twenty weeks. (PAUSE) The home secretary announced today that following a number of public order disturbances, the government have declared a national state of emergency, with anyone found exceeding standpipe rations to face prosecution. (PAUSE) A mass demonstration is taking place in central London this afternoon, with an estimated one hundred thousand protestors calling for increased efforts to combat global warming. The event has been organised by the pressure group ‘The League of Nature’…

(FX: CUT TO DEMONSTRATION. SIRENS. SHOUTS. LAUGHTER. HORSES AND MOTORBIKES. WHISTLES AND DRUMS)

DEMONSTRATORS:
(CHANTING OFF) Enough is enough!/Save the Earth!/No second chances, it’s the only one we’ve got! (ETC)

MARK:
(A REPORTER, IN THE THICK OF IT) The demonstration has been largely good-natured, it has to be said. So far there have been only isolated outbreaks of violence but, following the riots in Paris and Madrid, the authorities are leaving nothing to chance. Leading the march is rock star turned environmental activist, Alex Marlow, who I spoke to earlier today…

(FX: CUT TO ANOTHER AREA – THE DEMONSTRATION IS STILL TAKING PLACE IN THE BACKGROUND, BUT QUIETER AND LESS AGITATED)

MARK:
Alex Marlow, you’re probably best known for your work campaigning to save endangered animals, yet recently you seem to have adopted a more militant stance –

MARLOW:
I wouldn’t say we were militant, we’re not the ones in the riot gear! No, I think it’s more a case that the global situation has become more desperate, y’know, and so our response, our level of response, to the situation has to… recognise that.

For more info on Hothouse click here.

THE CANNIBALISTS

PART ONE

PRE-TITLES

1: (PRE -TITLES). SPACE STATION CORRIDORS.

ECHOEY UNDERPASS TUNNEL. HYDRAULIC VENTS HISSING AND CREAKING. RUMBLING ENGINES. FLOORS MADE OF METAL VIBRATE AS TWO ROBOTS APPROACH. THEY ARE CALLED SERVO AND DIODE. DIODE IS ELDERLY AND WHEEZY – HIS JOINTS MAKE AN UNHEALTHY, LOP-SIDED SOUND.

SERVO:
Diode! Come on!

DIODE:
It’s no good, Servo – my hydraulics have had it. Seized up on me at last! You go on.

SERVO:
(CRYING) I’m not leaving you –

DIODE:
Go. Please, just (go)...!

SERVO:
I’m not going. Those things... what they’ll do to you –

DIODE:
Yes. And while they’re busy with me... you can get away.

SERVO:
No.

DIODE:
It’s what I want, Servo. Now go. They’re coming...

SERVO:
I don’t want to leave you –

DIODE:
The access duct, take the access duct, they won’t search there.

SERVO:
Diode - my old (friend)...

DIODE:
No goodbyes. Just go!

A SCRAPE OF METAL AND WHIRRS AS SERVO HEAVES HIMSELF INTO AN ACCESS DUCT. METAL PLATE SCRAPED INTO PLACE. SERVO CLANGING HIMSELF AWAY DOWN THE SHAFT, BECOMING QUIETER. THEN SILENCE SAVE FOR DIODE WHEEZING PAINFULLY.

DIODE:
At last... rest at last...

THERE’S A DEAFENING CRASH AS A BULKHEAD DOOR SMASHES OPEN. THE CANNIBALISTS BURST IN WITH A SAVAGE ANIMAL ROAR AND THE SNARL OF BANDSAWS AND DRILLS. THEIR LEADER IS TITUS. HE STALKS ABOUT IN ARMOUR, HYDRAULICS WHIRRING. A ROBOT VERSION OF JOHN LYDON.

TITUS:
Got ya now, ya little service drone! Thought ya could escape the mighty Titus, eh?

DIODE:
No... please...

TITUS:
Hardly worth the chase, to look at ya, ya grimy old motherboard! Still, I’m sure there’s somethin’ we can salvage. Gather round, lads! It’s ‘upgrade time’!

For more info on The Cannibalists, click here.