More deleted scenes. This time from 2012’s The Valley Of Death. I thought it was more recent than that, but no, it was written over 3 years ago. How time flies.
These deleted scenes may contain spoilers so if you haven’t bought and listened to the story,
please do so at your earliest convenience.
The story was an adaptation of a synopsis submitted by
former producer Philip Hinchcliffe to script editor Douglas Adams in around
1978. As the synopsis was fairly brief, part of my job in adapting it was not
just to turn it into a script, but to put that synopsis through the same
process of development it would’ve had if it had been commissioned; i.e.
ironing out any plot holes, developing ideas with potential while playing down
bits that didn’t seem as strong, and structuring it into a four-part story with
cliff-hangers and exciting bits in the middle of each episode (I took Dennis
Spooner’s dramatic ‘W’ to heart at a very early age). And I added a character,
Valerie, mainly to give the Doctor someone to talk to (all part of the
mechanics of writing for audio). I imagined her as a hard-bitten US
photojournalist; the Blythe Danner character from Futureworld, if you remember that.
Anyway, I’m sure I’ve witted on about the adaptation process
elsewhere. My main memory of it is that I had a real Terry Nation moment
writing the final episode. You see, I found myself in the unenviable position
that I hadn’t written the final episode and the deadline was the next day; and
I was due to go on a week’s holiday to Paris that day. So I had a choice.
Either I could hand in the script late... or I could write the whole episode
overnight. And, dedicated professional that I am, I wrote it overnight, whilst
being literally hosed down with black coffee (writing tip – wait for the coffee
to cool down first). I then sent it off the next morning and had my Terry
Nation moment of flying off on holiday to where nobody could contact me.
Now, reading this you may be agog, you may be impressed that
I wrote 5000-odd words in one night but you may also be agog, thinking ‘Is this
the normal lack of care and attention that Jonny puts into his work?’ No, it
isn’t. This was a very unusual case. And, just to be clear, when I came back
from my holiday I rewrote that whole
episode from scratch over several days to get it up to standard. The ‘overnight’
draft was essentially just a process of nailing the structure, working out what
had to happen in each scene.
So, on with the deleted scenes! From part one. To begin
with, this bit was chopped out of the opening scene:
SUMMERSBY:
SUMMERSBY:
I hate to say it, but
I think maybe we should follow their example.
PERKINS:
Give up, you mean?
After we have come so far?
SUMMERSBY:
See reason. Without
the bearers to carry our supplies, we’d be lucky to last a week.
PERKINS:
And without guides we
would soon be hopelessly lost!
SUMMERSBY:
I supposed you may be
right -
PERKINS:
If we are to die in
this jungle then it may as well be in the Valley of Death as anywhere else.
SUMMERSBY:
You think we’re nearly
there, then?
...and so was this. Pity, as it’s quite a nice image, but
maybe it spoils the surprise of the giant wildlife.
SUMMERSBY:
Watch out!
PERKINS:
What is it?
(RIFLE COCKED)
SUMMERSBY:
I... I thought it was
a snake... but it’s just the skin.
PERKINS:
Extraordinary. By the
size of it, the snake that shedded this must have been six feet or more in
diameter.
I think this next bit was cut for being too whimsical. Pity,
as I think it’s quite sweet and very Tom.
DOCTOR:
We’re coming along as
official UNIT observers. We’ve already packed our toothbrushes, haven’t we,
Leela?
LEELA:
The Doctor lies. I do
not own a ‘toothbrush’.
DOCTOR:
I’ll buy you one then.
You can have a blue one.
The next bit is a bit too ‘knowing’, I suspect that’s why it
got deleted, it could be misinterpreted as the writer taking the piss!
DOCTOR:
I shall bear it in
mind.
VALERIE:
That’s why I called in
a few favours to get on this trip. It’s a real ‘lost world’ thing. A mysterious
lost expedition, a mythical city of gold, maybe even some dinosaurs.
DOCTOR:
You’re expecting
dinosaurs?
VALERIE:
Hey, I’ve seen the
movies, these places always have dinosaurs.
LEELA:
Doctor, what is a
‘dinosaur’?
DOCTOR:
Ah, well, that’s a
very interesting – (question)
And the Doctor’s struggle to fly the plane was originally longer
and jokier:
EDWARD:
Why? Do you know how
to fly a plane?
DOCTOR:
No. But I think this
is probably a very good time to learn.
(SONIC SCREWDRIVER
OFF)
DOCTOR:
Ha! Yes, that should
have got rid of the static charge. But there’s only one way to find out...
(ACCELERATION
INCREASES)
EDWARD:
Doctor, I think you’re
supposed to pull the joystick to go upwards.
DOCTOR:
Look, do you want to
drive? No? Then keep quiet! (MUTTER) Backseat drivers!
(ACCELERATION DROPS AS
PLANE LEVELS OUT)
EDWARD:
Doctor, we’re too low,
we’re not going to make it.
DOCTOR:
I know. I think we
have two options. Either I can manage to perform a crash landing, or...
EDWARD:
Or?
DOCTOR:
Or exactly the same,
but without the word ‘landing’.
A whole scene was cut from later in the episode. It had only
really been included to provide a cutaway to allow a passage of time between
two Doctor/Valerie/savages scenes. I really liked Leela’s line about ‘the
characters of the trees’ so included it in her next scene.
DOCTOR:
Ah. I think they want
to take us to their leader. When you’ve been captured as many times as I have,
you start to recognise the signs.
(DOCTOR AND VALERIE
LED AWAY, NATIVES CHANTING)
EDWARD:
What’s happening?
LEELA:
The tribesmen are
leading the Doctor and Valerie Carlton away. Come, Edward. We shall follow
them!
(THEY HEAD INTO THE
JUNGLE AFTER THE DOCTOR & NATIVES)
SCENE 10. EXT. JUNGLE.
(LEELA AND EDWARD
MOVING THROUGH JUNGLE. THEY HALT.)
EDWARD:
I thought you said you
could track them through broken twigs and so forth?
LEELA:
I could, but they do
not wish to be followed. They are concealing their footsteps and laying false
trails.
EDWARD:
So now what do we do?
Stuck in the jungle in the middle of the night, with Lord-knows-what lurking
out there in the darkness?
LEELA:
I can retrace our
steps back to the aeroplane.
EDWARD:
You’re sure you can do
that?
LEELA:
Of course. I have a
perfect sense of direction, and know all the different characters of the trees.
We shall wait for the Doctor there, as instructed. But you must try to keep up!
From part two, most of the cuts were just because of
redundancy – i.e. the last two lines here:
LEELA:
I have seen false gods
before, Godrin. I know that true gods do not speak with the voices of men!
EDWARD:
Careful, Leela. We
don’t want to annoy him.
LEELA:
Edward, if you can
hear a god speak then it is not a god. As a man of science you should know
that!
EDWARD:
I do, it’s just, he
might not be of the same opinion, and it might be a better idea to humour him.
And this...
(NATIVES CHEER AND
CHATTER EXCITEDLY. THEY LIKE THIS!)
NATIVES:
Umbeckity wasa!
Godorin flit-flit!
(LEELA AND EDWARD ARE
CARRIED AWAY)
LEELA:
Do your worst! A
warrior of the Sevateem knows how to die!
EDWARD:
(QUIET) I said we
should’ve tried to play along...
This next bit was mostly cut but a few lines were used as ‘via
monitor’ dialogue.
(SOUND OF FORCE FIELD OPENING, AS IN SCENE 14)
VALERIE:
What have you done?
DOCTOR:
Created a temporary
break in the force field, allowing us to pass through. Professor, you may have
the honour...
PERKINS:
Yes, Doctor... (SEES
SOMETHING) I... I don’t believe it.
DOCTOR:
What? What don’t you
believe?
PERKINS:
Look. Ahead of us.
It’s Maygor. The city of gold. I’ve found it at last!
...replacing this ‘via monitor’ dialogue:
DOCTOR: (VIA MONITOR)
And if you’ll excuse
me a moment, it’s very important to close the gate after you. Countryside code!
It’s interesting – for the writer, if no-one else – that sometimes
a story can be clearer and easier to follow if you remove some of the
explanations. Because too much explanation can be confusing. So while the next
bit may seem essential, when it came to rewriting, it seemed to be reiterating
what the listener would have already worked out.
DOCTOR:
Just out of interest,
Cornelius, what did happen to Doctor Summersby?
PERKINS:
After I discovered the
skull, we were captured by the Maygor tribe. Summersby was killed, trying to
escape, while I was taken into this city, to be presented to their god.
And the same applies for this next bit. After all, we’ve
been through this situation so many times in other Doctor Who stories, it hardly needs spelling out again.
GODRIN:
And so I found myself,
alone and afraid on an alien world. It was only my good fortune that the
natives of this jungle thought my appearance resembled one of their deities.
LEELA:
Doctor. This is the
same story the Professor told us!
DOCTOR:
Yes, I imagine this is
where he got the idea...
GODRIN:
They took me to their
city. And I made it my home, using the equipment from my ship. I had intended
to help the people of the Earth but instead I found them to be primitive and
superstitious.
The Godrin line from the next bit was cut because it made
more sense for this information to be revealed in part three, where it is more
relevant to proceedings.
LEELA:
Your explanation makes
even less sense than not knowing.
GODRIN:
We Lurons mastered
such techniques centuries ago. By creating fields of decelerated time, we could
travel between the stars, in what would seem a few months.
DOCTOR:
So you set yourself up
as a little yellow idol...
Onto part three. As the Doctor and Leela found themselves in
1979, so the style of the story changed, from a mid-70s Doctor Who to a
late-70s Doctor Who, as script-edited by Douglas Adams, where the story becomes
a delicate balancing act on the brink of becoming silly. As the next cut scene
perhaps demonstrates.
SCENE 41. INT. AIR
TRAFFIC CONTROL.
(MACHINES BLEEPING.
DOOR OPENS)
VALERIE:
They’re all knocked
out...
DOCTOR:
Yes. Quick. Get me a
glass of water.
VALERIE:
A glass of water?
DOCTOR:
As large as possible.
(VALERIE EXITS AS
RADIO INTERCOM CRACKLES)
PILOT: (VIA RADIO)
This is flight
nineteen-tango-tango, calling West London airport air traffic control, could
you respond please? We’re running low on fuel...
DOCTOR:
Hello there,
nineteen-tango-tango. Ah. You are cleared to land on whichever landing strip
you prefer.
PILOT: (VIA RADIO)
Whichever landing
strip I prefer? Who am I speaking to?
(DOOR OPENS, VALERIE
RETURNS)
VALERIE:
Doctor, the glass of
water.
DOCTOR:
Good.
(HE THROWS IT OVER
DAVE’S FACE.)
DAVE: (WAKES,
SPUTTERING)
What the... what
happened? Why is everyone asleep?
DOCTOR:
You tell me, Dave
Lumsden, Air Traffic Controller.
DAVE:
This foreign-looking
chap came in, with pointed ears and a yellow face. Then there was this noise,
and... How long have I been out for?
Some military chatter that I cut because, given that the
spaceship doesn’t go to TV Centre, it’s a bit misleading.
HEMMINGS:
Corporal, any news
from Moscow?
CORPORAL:
The ambassador is
still in conference. We’ve had confirmation of missile readiness from China and
India.
HEMMINGS:
Any idea where this
thing is going to come down?
CORPORAL:
Not yet sir, but we
think it will probably be homing in on the signal sent from Television Centre.
HEMMINGS:
It’s heading for
London? Contact the Minister. I want all air defences put on maximum alert,
under UNIT control.
I cut part of Saldor’s broadcast to humanity, again because
it was explaining stuff that didn’t need explaining.
SALDOR:
We understand that you
may be concerned about the human flying craft that flew into our docking bay.
That flying craft was piloted by our Emissary Godrin and did not contain any
passengers. We look forward to meeting your representatives.
It’s a pity the next bit got cut because of Leela’s final
line, but it complicated things unnecessarily.
EDWARD:
So I’m guessing this
is the sun chamber.
LEELA:
But there is nothing
here. It is an empty room!
DOCTOR:
Look up.
VALERIE:
Some sort of... huge
glowing white sphere.
HEMMINGS:
But that’s impossible.
It must be ten miles across, it’s bigger than the Luron mothership.
DOCTOR:
Not impossible, General
Hemmings. Elementary dimensional transcendentalism.
LEELA:
I can explain. Imagine
you have two boxes, one bigger –
The next bit got cut presumably for being both redundant and
hokey.
GODRIN:
You do not understand,
Overlord. I have studied humanity over the past century. They have waged
terrible wars and ignore the suffering of their own kind. There is not a race
in the galaxy more deserving of extinction!
SALDOR:
Maybe so, but
nevertheless –
GODRIN:
These humans have made
me suffer over the past century. How long I have looked forward to this moment!
Onto part four, and scenes written in the early hours of the
morning under the influence of Red Bull. You have been warned! Though the odd thing
is, although I rewrote practically every word, there aren’t that many chunks of
deleted material.
But there are some. Here’s an entire scene that got cut. The
final episode was too long and the time dilation had the curious effect that
the more I explained it, the more confusing it got.
SCENE 71. INT.
TEMPORAL CHAMBER.
(THE CHAMBER IN WHICH
THE TIME WARP IS CONTROLLED)
SALDOR:
So we are now
experiencing the time dilation effect?
GODRIN:
Indeed. A whole day
has already passed on Earth since we first came here.
(INCOMING
COMMUNICATION)
HEMMINGS DUPLICATE:
General Hemmings
calling Luron mothership.
SALDOR:
Luron mothership
receiving.
HEMMINGS DUPLICATE:
I have informed the
Minister of your offer of free energy and medical science. I have assembled a
group of government ministers and defence personnel. They are on their way to
you now, in the scout ship.
SALDOR:
Are Earth’s missile
defences still in a state of readiness?
HEMMINGS DUPLICATE:
They are. It will
require the duplication of more humans in order for us to control all of their
defence agencies.
SALDOR:
Very well.
GODRIN:
Overlord Saldor. The
scout ship has just landed in the docking bay.
SALDOR:
Then I will greet our
visitors and lead them to the scanning chamber, while you can prepare the duplicates...
SCENE 71. INT. CONTROL
CHAMBER.
LEELA:
But why would they do
this? Why do they wish to slow down time?
DOCTOR:
Impatience. Slowing
down time in here makes it seem like time outside is passing more quickly.
Two scene 71s? Oh dear. Never mind. Moving on. With scene
73, I cut the first two lines, again for reasons of time.
SCENE 73. INT. COMMAND
CHAMBER.
(BUTTONS PRESSED)
DOCTOR:
They’re increasing the
temporal dilation effect. Accelerating the relative rate of time passing by on
the outside. Now a month is going by every ten minutes!
LEELA:
But why make time go
faster?
And the next bit was rewritten from scratch, so the ‘real’
Doctor and Leela only arrived after the ‘fake’ Doctor and Leela had been
killed, and I added a scene with the ‘fake’ Doctor and Leela climbing the
gantry. As it stands, this scene really is not very good. Thank goodness I
rewrote it.
SCENE 76. INT. CONTROL
CHAMBER.
(BUTTONS PRESSED)
SALDOR:
Godrin, what are you
doing?
GODRIN:
Increasing the power
output of our sun. The radiation levels must be increased.
(DOOR OPENS)
GODRIN:
What is this –
DOCTOR:
Emissary Godrin. We
have captured the humans Edward Perkins and Valerie Carlton.
GODRIN:
Excellent. But your
instructions were to find and kill the Doctor and Leela.
LEELA:
We did not manage to
locate them.
DOCTOR:
But we believe they
may be trying to gain entry to the sun chamber.
SALDOR:
The sun chamber? Why
on Luron would they want to do that?
GODRIN:
Sabotage.
(BUTTONS PRESSED)
GODRIN:
And there they are. On
the upper access gantry. Trying to reach the gravity warp stabiliser.
(BUTTONS PRESSED)
SALDOR:
Godrin, what are you
doing?
GODRIN:
It is a simple matter
to dispose of them. We simply have to remove the force-shield around the sun
and –
(INSTRUMENTS BLEEP)
GODRIN:
There. They have both
been reduced to their constituent molecules. Vaporised in an instant!
The script then went onto a third draft, with mostly minor
changes. The only major change was that the following scene was deleted, not
sure why. Probably because it wasn’t needed. I’ve included a couple of the
preceding and following lines to place it in the context of the story.
DOCTOR:
Yes! It’s like The
Invasion Of The Body Snatchers on fast forward!
SCENE 72. INT.
DOCKING BAY.
GODRIN:
Duplicates. You know
what you must do?
HUMAN DUPLICATE:
We are to return to
Earth and persuade more members of Earth’s governments and defence agencies to
visit here.
GODRIN:
Then go!
(DOOR OF SCOUT SHIP
CLOSES AND TAKES OFF. OVER THIS:)
SALDOR:
Another batch of
duplicates? And yet the previous batch only left a few minutes ago!
GODRIN:
Yes! Before long they
will control every defence agency and government on the planet.
SALDOR:
Before long?
GODRIN:
Within the next hour.
Because by then, as far as the people of Earth are concerned, our mothership
will have been in their skies for over a month!
SCENE 73. INT.
COMMAND CHAMBER.
(BUTTONS PRESSED.
ENGINES RISING IN PITCH)
DOCTOR:
Of course! Godrin said
it would take six months for exposure to the Luron sun to affect the population
of Earth!
LEELA:
And they are trying to
make that happen faster?
DOCTOR:
Relatively speaking,
yes.
So there you go. Next up, I’ll investigate to see if there
were any deleted scenes from the world of Jago & Litefoot...
