Under Three Hundred

The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Friday, 20 June 2014

The Boy In The Bubble




After reading the excellent interview with m’colleague Simon Guerrier here, I was reminded that, just as he had originally written his Destiny of the Doctor adventure Shadow of Death to feature a cameo from the eleventh Doctor (the Matt Smith one), I’d done the same with my story in the same series, Babblesphere (previously blogged about here).

When I wrote the first draft, I was under the impression that each story would be introduced by the eleventh Doctor. So this is how he might’ve introduced mine:

ELEVENTH DOCTOR:
Stop! Pay attention! And please put that thing down! Yes, that thing you’re pretending not to look at, that thing you’re secretly tapping-away-on when you think nobody’s looking. Because I need you to listen to what happened to me a few regenerations ago, when I was travelling with Romana. The posh one. Well, all the Romanas were posh. The one who looked a bit like the blonde one out of ABBA. That one. Anyway, when I was travelling with her, we went to this planet where the whole secretly-tapping-when-you-should-be-paying-attention thing had got completely out of hand. In fact, the situation had become so desperate there was only one person in the whole cosmos who could possibly save the day. No, not Romana. Me!

OPENING THEME.

And this is what his cameo at the end would’ve been like. It’s a bit of a spoiler so maybe click away now if you haven’t heard it. Most of this dialogue was used as direct speech in the story.

(FX: ELEVENTH DOCTOR’S VOICE DRIFTS OUT OF ALL THE BABBLE)

ELEVENTH DOCTOR:
Hello there! Sorry about dropping in on you like this, realise you’ve got your hands full and all that, but – ooh, Romana! Haven’t seen you for ages! This takes me back! When I had the hair and the mad, scary eyes! And the scarf and the coat with all the capacious pockets. Those were the days! The Nimon, Vesuvius, Zodaal and Scaroth, the last of the Jagaroth! Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Important. You’re about to knock out the computer thing. Well, just to ask that you don’t actually destroy it. If you could stick it somewhere safe, then I’ll remember where you put it, and pick it up later. Don’t forget where you put it, or I won’t know where to find it! Now if I recall correctly, which I think do, I was in the process of overwhelming the computer thing with a barrage of pointless facts. So just to help you out, I’ll throw some of my own into the mix. Top five monsters! Number five, Ice Warriors. Ice Warriors are cool. Literally. That’s why they’re cool. Number four, has to be the Ood. Number three, the Mandrils. Number two, the Bandrils. And number one, bit of a surprise, the Chumblies! There, I think that may just have tipped the balance!

Friday, 13 June 2014

Lovers (Live A Little Longer)


Ooh, it’s been almost a month since my last blog. Well, I’ve been busy, writing things, script-editing things, moving house, plus occasionally looking after the little chap. And messing about on twitter. I may have even read a couple of books. It’s been ‘all go’.

Anyway. I have two things out now! A book and an audio. Audio first.


It’s Exodus, the second instalment in the 4-part Survivors box set released by Big Finish. The series is probably best described as a companion piece to the original 1975 BBC TV series. It’s not a remake, or a continuation, it’s what-was-happening-to-some-other-characters-over-the-hill. But with characters from the BBC TV series turning up as well. So it’s an expansion of that series, but entirely accessible to anyone who has never seen that series. The premise is simple. A superbug wipes out a huge percentage of the human race in a matter of days; what happens to the people who are left?

Exodus is set in the immediate aftermath of the plague. It’s one of the things that bugs me with other post-apocalyptic stories that they tend to skip this bit; usually by having a viewpoint character get rendered unconscious only to wake up ’28 Days Later’ or whenever (The Day of the Triffids does it, The Walking Dead does it, even The Last Train did it, yes, I went there, I mentioned The Last Train). When it’s the immediate aftermath which, in many ways, is the most dramatic moment. It’s when civilisation is falling apart and when the survivors are first coming to terms with what has happened, when they’re still in a state of shock, or denial. It’s when the world from ‘before’ the plague is still present all around them, so you have that jarring, eerie discomfiture.


That’s what excited me about this story. And that it’s near the beginning of the series, so you don’t know who will live and who will die, where the characters are still be established. Writing it was a real step outside my comfort zone, partly because the subject matter is so uncomfortable, so unrelentingly grim and serious, but also because the way the story was told; often in writing you write several steps removed from reality, in a world where nobody goes to the toilet, nobody forgets what they went into the kitchen for, and where everybody is on top form, but with Survivors that wouldn’t work. The whole point of the premise is to be as realistic as possible, to tell the story in as naturalistic, straightforwardand honest a way as possible. Without the writer intruding by drawing attention to themselves, to let the characters tell the story. Because Survivors is such a powerful, gut-grabbing idea, it doesn’t need narrative tricks to maintain interest.

It’s turned out incredibly well. The director, sound designer and cast have taken what I wrote and amplified it, made it even more emotionally affecting, more shocking, more tense. Which is lovely, because it makes me look good. I’m particularly pleased with Louise Jameson’s performance as Jackie Burchall, a character I created specifically for her. She does a stunning job (as expected). But the whole cast are very strong, everything gels, and so far the series seems to have gone down exceptionally well. People are saying it’s one of the best things Big Finish have ever done. Wow.

So please, rush and out buy it, it’s available from here. I think there’s going to be a second series.


The book out now is an odd little thing. Doctor Who: The Shakespeare Notebooks. It’s a humour book designed for fans of both Doctor Who and Shakespeare. Well, it hasn’t been done before! It’s written by James Goss, Julian Richards, Justin Richards, Matthew Sweet and me, with additional material by William Shakespeare.

I found the process of writing it fun but arduous; I made a rod for my own back by deciding that my ‘pastiches’ of Shakespeare would be written in iambic pentameter blank verse (except for low-status characters  in verse, and a few rhyming couplets). Which meant that I was not just checking the number of syllables but the stresses of every word; whenever in doubt, checking it against a searchable online index of Shakespeare to see where he had placed the same word in blank verse in order to see where the stresses went, and to check that the word was one in his vocabulary. So a meticulous, time-consuming task, but a rewarding one. I’m not claiming my attempts at blank verse are prefect (they wouldn’t sound authentically Shakespearean if they were, he knew better than to be beholden to rules) but I gave it a damn good go.

So please, rush out and buy it, if only to find all the bits I got wrong. My bits are some missing scenes from Macbeth, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern-style, which recasts it as a Troughton historical; Romeo and Juliet with a happy ending in the style of a Steven Moffat season finale (everyone lives!); A Midsummer Night’s Dream with Sontarans on Vortis; and Shakespeare’s rough notes for The Tempest.  All beautifully illustrated by Mike Collins.

You can read the first 30-odd pages at the Random House website. As another taster, here’s part of the new Romeo and Juliet:

Act V, Scene III – Capulet tomb in the Verona churchyard

Romeo has discovered Juliet lying on an altar in the tomb He reaches for the vial of poison. Doctor, Amy, Rory appear from behind the altar.

DOCTOR:
Romeo, stop!  Don’t drink the poison’d brew!
For if thou dost thou shalt regret the deed
As long as thou shalt live; which won’t be long
But that is not the point. The point is this;
Thy Juliet is not dead yet; she lives!

ROMEO:
I see no breath, her cheeks are pale, her lips
Are cold as stone. My love is dead, so taunt
Me not; I am resolv’d to die. But wait.
Who are you that dares violate the tomb
Of Capulet? And what is this blue box
That is not of this place?

AMY:
                                    We will explain
That later on.

RORY:
                        Just put that vial down.
You heard the Doctor’s words. Your Juliet
Just counterfeits death’s signs. She slumbers deep
But will soon wake to find you here. And would
You wish she found you dead at her bed-side?
As consequence of feigned death? What would
She do in such a state of discontent?

ROMEO:
I dare not think.

AMY:
                         She would do something rash
Like take your dagger and do herself in.

DOCTOR:
And would not that be a grave tragedy?

ROMEO:
A tragedy forg’d of a grave misdeed,
Within a grave itself is grave indeed.

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Just Passing




My latest Doctor Who audio, Last of the Colophon, is now available from download. It’s marvellous, so please buy it. I won’t go into a great deal of detail about it, partly because of spoilers, and partly because I’ve gone through that already in the liner notes, in Vortex, DWM, and on this blog.

So instead, here’s a thing. The audio stars Tom Baker as the Doctor and Gareth Thomas as Morax. Now, as I’m sure you don’t need telling, Gareth Thomas also used to play Blake in the eponymous TV series Blake’s 7 back in 1970s. Back then or thereabouts, Tom Baker would mention that he had suggested having one of them appear in the other’s show, a brief cameo as they passed in a corridor on their way to their different adventures. ‘Hello, Doctor’. ‘Hello, Blake’.

Well, it occurred to me that the recording for Last of the Colophon would be an ideal opportunity to show this scene. Not as part of the story, but as a sketch, which could be stuck on the end, or in a podcast, or sold for charity or something. But unfortunately, it was not to be, for (instantly forgettable) contractual reasons. So instead I just got the Doctor and Blake to sign a friend’s birthday card.

However, I did write the sketch and so, for your amusement, here’s what might have been. (It’s a bit of a long sketch but I didn’t have time to write a shorter one).

DOCTOR WHO: BLAKE ENCOUNTER

(BRIEF CLIP OF OPENING THEME)

1: INT. CORRIDOR.

(FX: DOCTOR RUNNING DOWN CORRIDOR. DISTANT SIRENS.)

DOCTOR:
If I can just get back to the TARDIS in time and reconfigure it into a warp cone inverter, it might not be too late –

(FX: DOCTOR SUDDENLY HALTS)

DOCTOR:
Hello! What are you doing here?

BLAKE:
I was about to ask you the same question.

DOCTOR:
But fancy meeting you here, um... (CAN’T REMEMBER NAME)

BLAKE:
Blake.

DOCTOR:
Blake! Of course! Roj Blake! The rebel!

BLAKE:
And you’re the Doctor. I’ve heard all about you.

DOCTOR:
You have? Nothing good I hope! I say, though, it’s a bit of coincidence us running into each other like this.

BLAKE:
Oh, I don’t know. I always thought it had a sort of grim inevitability about it.

DOCTOR:
You did?

BLAKE:
There are, after all, only a limited number of corridors in the universe. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

DOCTOR:
You have a point. We both spend an awful lot of time running up and down them, don’t we?

BLAKE:
Yes. You know, sometimes I think I do nothing else.

DOCTOR:
And wherever you go, they all look the same, have you ever noticed that?

BLAKE:
Yes, well, as the saying goes, once you’ve seen one hi-tech scientific research establishment, you’ve seen them all.

DOCTOR:
So. How’s it all going, fighting the... who was it again?

BLAKE:
The Federation. We’re getting there. Slowly but surely.

DOCTOR:
Good, good. And that dreadful woman?

BLAKE:
Servalan?

DOCTOR:
Yes. Managed to remove her from power yet?

BLAKE:
Not yet, we’re still working on it.

DOCTOR:
Only I would have dealt with her myself, you know, but I thought as she was your arch-enemy, I’d leave you to it. Wouldn’t want to tread on any toes!

BLAKE:
Speaking of arch-enemies, what about you and those robot things?

DOCTOR:
The Daleks? Oh, you know, I’m taking it one planet at a time. And they’re not robots, that’s a common mistake.

BLAKE:
Sorry, I meant that other lot.

DOCTOR:
The Cybermen?

BLAKE:
The Quarks.

DOCTOR:
Right, yes. So. Anyway. Lovely to meet you and all that, but I’m in a bit of a hurry...

BLAKE:
Yes, me too.

DOCTOR:
Oh, what is it this time?

BLAKE:
Nuclear reactor counting down to explode. You?

DOCTOR:
Oh, the imminent heat-death of the entire universe.

BLAKE:
Well, good luck with that, Doctor.

DOCTOR:
And you too, Blake, you too. And give my love to Orac!

BLAKE:
Will do. And if that girl you run around with ever fancies a change, well, there’s plenty of room on the Liberator for one more.

DOCTOR:
But then there’d be eight of you. Can’t help feeling that would be one too many.

BLAKE:
Anyway, Doctor, must dash. See you again, perhaps.

DOCTOR:
Not if I see you first! Ha-ha!

(FX: BLAKE RUNS OFF)

BLAKE:
(CALLING) Goodbye, Doctor!

DOCTOR:
(CALLING) Bye, bye, Blake! (BEAT) Oh, and remember to watch out for Avon – oh, too late, he’s gone.

(END)

And if you've enjoyed this sketch, why not download the story? Go on go on go on go on go on.