The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Sunday, 12 January 2014

The Girl I Knew Somewhere


Deleted scenes time again! Hooray. This time from The Curse of Davros, released in 2012. Or, as it was called during the drafts and the recording, Waterloo of the Daleks (the reason for the name change is not particularly interesting so I won’t tell you). As usual, deleted scenes may contain spoilers so if you haven’t heard the story, stop reading and click here to buy it! 



I always aim to over-write every script I do (by over-write, I mean write too much, word-count-wise) and Curse was no exception. Every episode was at least 1000 words over length, about one fifth too long, which is pretty much ideal as it means a 6000-word script tends to have enough ‘good bits’ for a 5000-word script. It’s then just a process of cutting everything else, over successive drafts, wielding the pruning shears with increasing ruthlessness.

So, before I even delivered the first draft, I’d already cut the following from part one:

Cut from scene 2:

(DURING THIS, BUS PULLS OFF)

JARED:
But what can you do? You don’t know any first aid. Shouldn’t we just leave it to the authorities?

FLIP:
You might want to be boring but I’m gonna check it out.

JARED:
But there might be, you know, aliens and stuff.

FLIP:
Well duh. Bit of excitement. Well, are you coming or not?

JARED:
I don’t know. Could be dangerous.

Cut from scene 5:

SCENE 5. EXT. WASTEGROUND. DAY.

(THE SITE OF THE CRASHED FLYING SAUCER. POLICE AND MILITARY RUNNING ABOUT, SHOUTING ORDERS. VEHICLES DRIVING PAST. SERGEANT ASH IS KEEPING THE PUBLIC AT BAY.)

ASH:
For the last time. This is a military exclusion zone. No members of the public or press beyond this point.

WOMAN:
We saw it come down last night.

ASH:
There’s been an accident with a privately-owned aircraft, that’s all. Now, go home. There’s nothing to see here.

MAN:
Then why are you here? Why all the soldiers and lorries? Why all the police with guns?

ASH:
Security. That’s all you need to know. Security.

WOMAN:
What is it, radiation or something?

ASH:
No radiation.

MAN:
No, it was some sort of experimental aircraft, something they’re trying to keep quiet.

ASH:
Listen. There’s just been an accident. If you want more information, go home and watch the local news or check the BBC website.

WOMAN:
It’s a cover up, that’s what it is. I saw a space ship crash. You’ve got aliens in there.

ASH:
Really. Just go home, please, some of us have a job to do.

MAN:
What are you, anyway? You’re not a regular. What is UNIT anyway?

WOMAN:
Unified Nations Intelligence Taskforce.

MAN:
What’s that, special ops?

ASH:
I’m not going to warn you again. If you don’t vacate the area, I can have you placed under arrest.

Cut from scene 8 (the information being moved to a scene later on):

DOCTOR:
The Daleks. The most terrible creations the universe has ever known.

FLIP:
The Daleks?

DOCTOR:
Creatures of pure hatred. Of absolute evil. And my greatest enemies.

FLIP:
Okay. You’re not making them sound good.

DOCTOR:
They’re probably already here, on Earth. How long has it been since you found me?

Cut from scene 13:

DOCTOR:
Something like that. Allowing us to make our escape!

FLIP:
Doctor. What about Jared?

DOCTOR:
What?

FLIP:
You forgot about him. You were going to have us leave with him still walking around with the brain of a Dalek.

DOCTOR:
Not at all. When the Daleks swapped his mind, they placed his mind into a Dalek’s body. Which presumably is -

FLIP:
On board their space craft?

DOCTOR:
Exactly. They’d want to keep it safe.

FLIP:
So when we get there, we can swap his mind back?

DOCTOR:
Of course.

FLIP:
Thank god. You had me worried for a minute there. So how do we find the Dalek’s space craft?

DOCTOR:
I’m working on it. Ha!

...along with a great deal else. And then, following notes from script editor Alan Barnes and director Nicholas Briggs, the following scenes were cut/reworked for the second draft.

This opening was cut/reworked because it was a bit too rude!

SCENE 1. EXT. STREET/BUS/STREET. NIGHT.

(CHUCKING OUT TIME AT A NIGHTCLUB. LAUGHTER, LOW THUMP OF MUSIC, TRAFFIC, MINICAB TOUTS, CLICK OF HIGH-HEELS.)

JARED: (CHASING AFTER HER)
Flip. Flip! What have I done wrong this time?

FLIP:
Does the name Kelly Parker ring any bells?

JARED:
What?

FLIP:
I saw you. The whole night. Staring at her with your tongue hanging out, just cos she looked like she was gonna fall out of her top at any second.

JARED:
Hey, I just wanted to be there when it finally happened.

FLIP:
Not funny, Jared. I’ve had enough.

SCENE 2. INT. BUS. NIGHT

(THE BUS IS MOVING. PASSENGERS CHATTER)

JARED:
Look, about Kelly Packer, I’m not interested. You’re the only girl for me, darling.

FLIP:
Don’t call me that, makes you sound like you’re in JLS.

JARED:
I’m sorry, alright? You want to do something different, we’ll do something different. What is it you want?

FLIP:
I don’t know. Just.

JARED:
Just what?

FLIP:
I’m bored of all this. Working in Freshgoods all week and watching your mates make fools of themselves every Saturday night. I just wish, I just wish something interesting would happen to me for once.

The following was cut to remove the character ‘Archer’ (formerly known as ‘Ash’):

SCENE 5. EXT. WASTEGROUND. DAY.

(POLICE AND MILITARY, SHOUTING ORDERS. VEHICLES DRIVING PAST. SERGEANT ARCHER KEEPING THE PUBLIC AT BAY.)

ARCHER:
This is a military exclusion zone. No members of the public beyond this point! There’s nothing to see here.

MAN:
Then why are you here? You’re not a regular soldier. What is ‘UNIT’ anyway?

ARCHER:
I’m not going to warn you again. If you don’t vacate the area I can have you placed under arrest.

(THE PUBLIC MOVE AWAY, PROTESTING)

ARCHER:
And that includes you.

JARED:
No, mate, you’ve gotta hear me out.

ARCHER:
I’m not interested.

JARED:
You will be. That thing that came down last night, that wasn’t all of it. There was an escape capsule, we found it in the park. I can show you.

ARCHER:
What?

JARED:
And that’s not all. There was a bloke inside it. Guy called the Doctor.

ARCHER:
Step under the barrier. (SHOUTS) Captain Finch. Captain!

(CAPTAIN FINCH APPROACHES. HE HAS A STIFF, FORMAL MANNER)

FINCH:
Yes, sergeant?

ARCHER:
This man claims to have found an escape pod. And someone called –

JARED:
The Doctor.

FINCH:
Very good, Sergeant. I will take it from here.

From scene 14, this was cut/revised as ‘perception filters’ are from the New Series so I had to call them ‘prismatic fields’ instead.

DOCTOR:
That’s where the Dalek pursuit ship is. It’s shielded by a perception filter, so you can’t see it unless you know what you’re looking for.

FLIP:
Oh, right, like the monkey dancing in the basketball match.

DOCTOR:
I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Quick, get down!

And the following was cut to remove the character of the bus driver:

SCENE 15. INT. BUS. DAY.

(BUS SCREECHES TO A HALT, DOOR OPENS)

BUS DRIVER:
Hey, what’s going on, who are you?

FINCH:
I am Captain Finch, of the Unified Intelligence Taskforce. I have reason to believe there are two dangerous fugitives on board this vehicle.

BUS DRIVER:
Only two?

FINCH:
You will co-operate or you will be exterminated.

BUS DRIVER:
Look, mate, if it’s all the same to you, (I) – (SCREAMS)

(DRIVER KILLED BY DALEK GUN. PASSENGERS SCREAM IN ALARM)

FINCH:
Detecting source of command network interference.

WOMAN:
Get away from me! You shot the driver!

It’s amazing, some of these scenes seem important and yet, cut them out, and you’d never miss them and everything happens much more quickly and tightly. Deleted scenes from part two will follow in due course...

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