My latest Doctor Who audio, Last of the Colophon, is now available from download. It’s marvellous, so please buy it. I won’t go into a great deal
of detail about it, partly because of spoilers, and partly because I’ve gone
through that already in the liner notes, in Vortex, DWM, and on this blog.
So instead, here’s a thing. The audio stars Tom Baker as the Doctor
and Gareth Thomas as Morax. Now, as I’m sure you don’t need telling, Gareth
Thomas also used to play Blake in the eponymous TV series Blake’s 7 back in 1970s. Back then or thereabouts, Tom Baker would
mention that he had suggested having one of them appear in the other’s show, a
brief cameo as they passed in a corridor on their way to their different
adventures. ‘Hello, Doctor’. ‘Hello, Blake’.
Well, it occurred to me that the recording for Last of the Colophon would be an ideal opportunity to show this
scene. Not as part of the story, but as a sketch, which could be stuck on the
end, or in a podcast, or sold for charity or something. But unfortunately, it was
not to be, for (instantly forgettable) contractual reasons. So instead I just
got the Doctor and Blake to sign a friend’s birthday card.
However, I did write the sketch and so, for your amusement, here’s
what might have been. (It’s a bit of a long sketch but I didn’t have time to
write a shorter one).
DOCTOR WHO: BLAKE ENCOUNTER
(BRIEF
CLIP OF OPENING THEME)
1: INT. CORRIDOR.
(FX: DOCTOR
RUNNING DOWN CORRIDOR. DISTANT SIRENS.)
DOCTOR:
If I can just get back to the
TARDIS in time and reconfigure it into a warp cone inverter, it might not be
too late –
(FX: DOCTOR SUDDENLY HALTS)
DOCTOR:
Hello! What are you doing
here?
BLAKE:
I was about to ask you the same
question.
DOCTOR:
But fancy meeting you here, um...
(CAN’T REMEMBER NAME)
BLAKE:
Blake.
DOCTOR:
Blake! Of course! Roj Blake! The
rebel!
BLAKE:
And you’re the Doctor. I’ve heard
all about you.
DOCTOR:
You have? Nothing good I hope! I
say, though, it’s a bit of coincidence us running into each other like this.
BLAKE:
Oh, I don’t know. I always thought
it had a sort of grim inevitability about it.
DOCTOR:
You did?
BLAKE:
There are, after all, only a
limited number of corridors in the universe. It was bound to happen sooner or
later.
DOCTOR:
You have a point. We both spend an
awful lot of time running up and down them, don’t we?
BLAKE:
Yes. You know, sometimes I think I
do nothing else.
DOCTOR:
And wherever you go, they all look
the same, have you ever noticed that?
BLAKE:
Yes, well, as the saying goes, once
you’ve seen one hi-tech scientific research establishment, you’ve seen them
all.
DOCTOR:
So. How’s it all going, fighting
the... who was it again?
BLAKE:
The Federation. We’re getting
there. Slowly but surely.
DOCTOR:
Good, good. And that dreadful
woman?
BLAKE:
Servalan?
DOCTOR:
Yes. Managed to remove her from
power yet?
BLAKE:
Not yet, we’re still working on it.
DOCTOR:
Only I would have dealt with her
myself, you know, but I thought as she was your arch-enemy, I’d leave you to
it. Wouldn’t want to tread on any toes!
BLAKE:
Speaking of arch-enemies, what
about you and those robot things?
DOCTOR:
The Daleks? Oh, you know, I’m
taking it one planet at a time. And they’re not robots, that’s a common
mistake.
BLAKE:
Sorry, I meant that other lot.
DOCTOR:
The Cybermen?
BLAKE:
The Quarks.
DOCTOR:
Right, yes. So. Anyway. Lovely to
meet you and all that, but I’m in a bit of a hurry...
BLAKE:
Yes, me too.
DOCTOR:
Oh, what is it this time?
BLAKE:
Nuclear reactor counting down to
explode. You?
DOCTOR:
Oh, the imminent heat-death of the
entire universe.
BLAKE:
Well, good luck with that, Doctor.
DOCTOR:
And you too, Blake, you too. And
give my love to Orac!
BLAKE:
Will do. And if that girl you run
around with ever fancies a change, well, there’s plenty of room on the
Liberator for one more.
DOCTOR:
But then there’d be eight of you.
Can’t help feeling that would be one too many.
BLAKE:
Anyway, Doctor, must dash. See you
again, perhaps.
DOCTOR:
Not if I see you first! Ha-ha!
(FX: BLAKE
RUNS OFF)
BLAKE:
(CALLING) Goodbye, Doctor!
DOCTOR:
(CALLING) Bye, bye, Blake! (BEAT)
Oh, and remember to watch out for Avon – oh, too late, he’s gone.
(END)
And if you've enjoyed this sketch, why not download the story? Go on go on go on go on go on.
