The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Just Passing




My latest Doctor Who audio, Last of the Colophon, is now available from download. It’s marvellous, so please buy it. I won’t go into a great deal of detail about it, partly because of spoilers, and partly because I’ve gone through that already in the liner notes, in Vortex, DWM, and on this blog.

So instead, here’s a thing. The audio stars Tom Baker as the Doctor and Gareth Thomas as Morax. Now, as I’m sure you don’t need telling, Gareth Thomas also used to play Blake in the eponymous TV series Blake’s 7 back in 1970s. Back then or thereabouts, Tom Baker would mention that he had suggested having one of them appear in the other’s show, a brief cameo as they passed in a corridor on their way to their different adventures. ‘Hello, Doctor’. ‘Hello, Blake’.

Well, it occurred to me that the recording for Last of the Colophon would be an ideal opportunity to show this scene. Not as part of the story, but as a sketch, which could be stuck on the end, or in a podcast, or sold for charity or something. But unfortunately, it was not to be, for (instantly forgettable) contractual reasons. So instead I just got the Doctor and Blake to sign a friend’s birthday card.

However, I did write the sketch and so, for your amusement, here’s what might have been. (It’s a bit of a long sketch but I didn’t have time to write a shorter one).

DOCTOR WHO: BLAKE ENCOUNTER

(BRIEF CLIP OF OPENING THEME)

1: INT. CORRIDOR.

(FX: DOCTOR RUNNING DOWN CORRIDOR. DISTANT SIRENS.)

DOCTOR:
If I can just get back to the TARDIS in time and reconfigure it into a warp cone inverter, it might not be too late –

(FX: DOCTOR SUDDENLY HALTS)

DOCTOR:
Hello! What are you doing here?

BLAKE:
I was about to ask you the same question.

DOCTOR:
But fancy meeting you here, um... (CAN’T REMEMBER NAME)

BLAKE:
Blake.

DOCTOR:
Blake! Of course! Roj Blake! The rebel!

BLAKE:
And you’re the Doctor. I’ve heard all about you.

DOCTOR:
You have? Nothing good I hope! I say, though, it’s a bit of coincidence us running into each other like this.

BLAKE:
Oh, I don’t know. I always thought it had a sort of grim inevitability about it.

DOCTOR:
You did?

BLAKE:
There are, after all, only a limited number of corridors in the universe. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

DOCTOR:
You have a point. We both spend an awful lot of time running up and down them, don’t we?

BLAKE:
Yes. You know, sometimes I think I do nothing else.

DOCTOR:
And wherever you go, they all look the same, have you ever noticed that?

BLAKE:
Yes, well, as the saying goes, once you’ve seen one hi-tech scientific research establishment, you’ve seen them all.

DOCTOR:
So. How’s it all going, fighting the... who was it again?

BLAKE:
The Federation. We’re getting there. Slowly but surely.

DOCTOR:
Good, good. And that dreadful woman?

BLAKE:
Servalan?

DOCTOR:
Yes. Managed to remove her from power yet?

BLAKE:
Not yet, we’re still working on it.

DOCTOR:
Only I would have dealt with her myself, you know, but I thought as she was your arch-enemy, I’d leave you to it. Wouldn’t want to tread on any toes!

BLAKE:
Speaking of arch-enemies, what about you and those robot things?

DOCTOR:
The Daleks? Oh, you know, I’m taking it one planet at a time. And they’re not robots, that’s a common mistake.

BLAKE:
Sorry, I meant that other lot.

DOCTOR:
The Cybermen?

BLAKE:
The Quarks.

DOCTOR:
Right, yes. So. Anyway. Lovely to meet you and all that, but I’m in a bit of a hurry...

BLAKE:
Yes, me too.

DOCTOR:
Oh, what is it this time?

BLAKE:
Nuclear reactor counting down to explode. You?

DOCTOR:
Oh, the imminent heat-death of the entire universe.

BLAKE:
Well, good luck with that, Doctor.

DOCTOR:
And you too, Blake, you too. And give my love to Orac!

BLAKE:
Will do. And if that girl you run around with ever fancies a change, well, there’s plenty of room on the Liberator for one more.

DOCTOR:
But then there’d be eight of you. Can’t help feeling that would be one too many.

BLAKE:
Anyway, Doctor, must dash. See you again, perhaps.

DOCTOR:
Not if I see you first! Ha-ha!

(FX: BLAKE RUNS OFF)

BLAKE:
(CALLING) Goodbye, Doctor!

DOCTOR:
(CALLING) Bye, bye, Blake! (BEAT) Oh, and remember to watch out for Avon – oh, too late, he’s gone.

(END)

And if you've enjoyed this sketch, why not download the story? Go on go on go on go on go on.

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