The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

The Masterplan


Whilst researching the classic Peter Davison Doctor Who story The King’s Demons I uncovered a previously unknown deleted scene. It takes place just after the Doctor discovers the Master and Kamelion in the King’s Chamber. All text (c) Terence Dudley.

DOCTOR:
One question. After you have robbed the world of Magna Carta... what do you intend to do with it?

MASTER:
Isn’t it obvious?

DOCTOR:
I’m afraid not. Or I wouldn’t ask.

MASTER:
Once I have the Magna Carta, Doctor... I shall pilot it throughout the known universe!

DOCTOR:
Right. Yes. Um... I’m not entirely sure you’ve entirely grasped what the Magna Carta is.

MASTER:
Very well then. Once I have the Magna Carta... once it is in my hands... I will use it to hold the whole universe to ransom! Either it accepts a continued existence under my guidance, or it shall be annihilated!

DOCTOR:
Again. I still don’t think you actually know what the Magna Carta is.

MASTER:
Oh but I do, Doctor. I do! And when I have the Magna Carta, I shall use it to give myself a whole new regeneration cycle! Thirteen more lives –

DOCTOR:
No.

MASTER:
No?

DOCTOR:
No.

MASTER:
No. Because... by the power of the Magna Carta, I shall drain the Earth’s oceans in the planet’s molten core and –

DOCTOR:
No.

MASTER:
I shall use it to transform everyone on Earth, the entire planet’s population, into a copy of –

DOCTOR:
No.

MASTER:
Using the Magna Carta, I shall gather together the greatest minds in human history –

DOCTOR:
No.

MASTER:
You’re sure?

DOCTOR:
Yes.

MASTER:
Then in that case, I shall use it to provoke an intergalactic war between the –

DOCTOR:
No.

MASTER:
Reawaken the ancient –

DOCTOR:
No.

MASTER:
Steal Concorde –

DOCTOR:
No.

MASTER:
No?

DOCTOR:
No, I’m afraid not.

MASTER:
Alright, I admit it. You’re right. I don’t know what the Magna Carta is. So tell me, Doctor. What is this 'Magna Carta'?

DOCTOR:
It’s an historical document, signed by King John to limit the powers of the monarch.

MASTER:
So I shall be altering the entire course of human history? Heh heh heh heh heh!

DOCTOR:
Well, that’s a matter of some debate. Probably not. In all honesty, I’m not sure anyone would even notice.

MASTER:
So what you are saying is... the Magna Carta is just a piece of paper?

DOCTOR:
Yes.

MASTER:
Signed by the King.

DOCTOR:
Well, no, not technically, because he would’ve used his royal seal to give assent –

MASTER:
So it’s just a piece of paper... not even signed by the King.

DOCTOR:
Yes.

MASTER:
I see.

DOCTOR:
I'm sorry.

MASTER:
It matters not. In that case, Doctor. In that case, I shall... fold it up and wear it as a hat!

DOCTOR:
I suspected as much all along.

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