I’ve seen Colin Baker naked.
That’s my entry into the ‘most arresting opening line for a DWM article
of all time’ competition. It was about twenty years ago, in a touring
production of Frankie & Johnny, with Colin in the role of Johnny. I don’t
remember a great deal about the pay, but two things have stuck with me; Colin’s
extremely impressive New York accent, and the sight, as he whipped off his
dressing gown to get into bed, of the Doctor’s equally impressive bottom.
I’m not really one to judge these things but it was
certainly a derriere worthy of a Time Lord of the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. But it also goes to show that
occasionally, just occasionally, it’s not always the best idea to book front-row seats. Or to go to
the theatre with your mum.
Going to the theatre to see the stars of Doctor Who was a
regular occurrence for me during the '80s and '90s. Goodness knows how many Alan
Ayckbourne plays I must have attended. I must’ve seen Noises Off at least
half a dozen times. I even saw Paul Darrow in Dennis Spooner’s A Sting In The
Tale; he gave a very thorough performance - no piece of scenery was left
unscathed. And I saw Deborah Watling in a Wonder Woman costume in
Ray Cooney’s Wife Begins At 40 – she was even more jiggly than Colin Baker.
Why did I do this? Partly to see my heroes in the flesh –
quite literally in Colin Baker’s case - and partly out of admiration, to see my
favourite actors doing something other than trying to run very quickly down very
short corridors. I know some fans would go to the stage door after the show, to
actually meet their heroes and solicit autographs. But I could never do that. I
know that in presence of a star of Doctor Who I would be reduced to a quivering
jelly.
I don’t think I’m alone in following the careers of the
Doctors and companions on stage and screen. I want to support them in their
future endeavours. I don’t want to feel that doing Doctor Who was a career
move...Of Death, I want to feel they went on to bigger and
brighter things. Sometimes they might even play a part like the Doctor – which
is a bit like getting an extra little bit of Doctor Who. I’m thinking of
Patrick Troughton in A Hitch In Time and The Box Of Delights, Paul McGann in
Sea Of Souls, or even Sylvester McCoy’s turn as The Amazing Lollipop Man in
Doctors. And let me tell you – Colin Baker was also, in his own way, an amazing
lollipop man.
But for Doctor-ish cameos, you can’t really beat Tom Baker.
Shortly after he left Doctor Who I remember seeing a feature on the local news about a play that Tom was appearing in – and I didn’t want to see him, because
he’d cut off his curls and didn’t look like the Doctor any more. After that he
suffered about a decade of being criminally under-used, his
only major role being in The Life & Loves Of She-Devil*, where he also got
his bottom out (it wasn’t a patch on Colin’s). But now he’s enjoyed a
renaissance because the fans who adored him are now in a position to reward him, in
Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased), Strange, Monarch Of The Glen and Little
Britain, playing either the Doctor or an exaggerated version of himself – as if
there’s any discernible difference.
It’s interesting to trace the careers of each of the
Doctors, both before and after Doctor Who. Before Doctor Who William Hartnell
was one of the most accomplished film actors of his time; after Doctor Who he
did a panto, an episode of Z-Cars and died**. Patrick Troughton went from
prestigious costume dramas to Doctor Who and back again – and he also did The
Omen (unlike Sylvester McCoy, who did the O-men before he was in Doctor Who).
Jon Pertwee returned to his comedy roots with Worzel Gummidge. Peter Davison
has enjoyed pretty much constant employment and acclaim, in both sitcoms and
comedy-drama, from A Very Peculiar Practice to At Home With The Braithwaites –
apart from a brief period in the mid-'90s where he couldn’t get arrested, not
even for Ain’t Misbehavin'.
Sadly, we haven’t seen enough of Colin Baker (unless you also went to see Frankie & Johnny) and Sylvester McCoy; it seems, unfairly, they might be
associated in some people’s minds with Doctor Who losing its way (which it didn’t). Though Sylvester has recently played the Fool to Ian McKellan’s King
Lear, which will hopefully shut up those smarmy pundits who have used his name as a cheap punchline. Maybe more ex-Doctors should do Shakespeare? We’ve seen Sylvester
give us his Fool, we’ve seen David Tennant give us his Hamlet – is it too late
for Colin Baker to show us his Bottom?
But what does the future hold in store for David Tennant?
Will he follow his predecessor to the states to appear in sci-fi-and-fantasy
shows and movies (plus a Doctor-ish cameo in The Sarah Silverman Programme)? Or
will he remain the UK? I daresay ITV are offering him the lead in various
angst-ridden detective dramas at this very moment – he might even finally get that part in
Taggart he’s always wanted. I daresay BBC One are offering him the lead in
numerous aspirational comedy-dramas about thirtysomething couples who are
having terrible trouble finding a decent babysitter. And I daresay BBC Four are
offering him a whole list of famous dead authors, scientists and comedians for
them to do docu-dramas about.
Or will he return to the stage? I hope so. Because we’ll all
be there, sitting in the front row. Waiting for the bit where he takes the
dressing gown off.
* This is not remotely true, he was in loads of things, Jonny 2015.
** This is also incorrect. He did a Softly Softly, a No Hiding Place and a weird Cliff Richard religious programme.
