The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Saturday, 12 January 2013

The Robots


The writing of Doctor Who: The Cannibalists (released in 2009) was extremely straightforward, with the script only going to a second draft (and the second draft not having many changes.) Which means, unfortunately, there aren’t really any ‘deleted scenes’ for me to share here.

But before I handed in the first draft, I did cut out a couple of short sections, for reasons I can’t remember. Firstly, from part two, where Lucie encounters the titular Cannibalists:

LUCIE:
Yeah, that’s right. You know the legend, about humans coming back to take charge? Well, that’s me. I’m the legendary Lucie, so you’d better do as you’re told, or...

TITUS:
Or?

LUCIE:
Or I’ll switch you all off right now. Using the ‘reset’!

TITUS:
The what?

LUCIE:
(WHOOPS MOMENT) You don’t know about the reset?

TITUS:
No. 

LUCIE:
Yeah, well, you’ve been warned, high and mighty Titus, so if you could just let us go we’ll hear no more about it -

TITUS:
You’re lying. If ya coulda shut us down, you’da done it before I fried up ya friend there.

LUCIE:
But do you really want to risk calling my bluff, though?

TITUS:
(CONSIDERS) Yeah. Go on. Do it. Switch off our power.

LUCIE:
This is your last chance... I’ll count to three. One...

And later on, when the Doctor encounters the Cannibalists:

DOCTOR:
Titus! How are you? Looking a bit worse for wear, if you don’t mind me saying. Slightly singed around the edges...
 
TITUS:
Y’know, there’s nothing I ‘appreciate’ more than a good chase. So boring when drones don’t bother to run, don’t fight back, don’t beg for mercy. But now... I think I’ve had enough ‘fun’ with you.

DOCTOR:
Well, as one mushroom said to the other, I’m a fun guy. Keep back, Titus! Remember what happened last time?
 
CANNIBALISTS GRUNT AND SURROUND OUR HEROES. WHIRR! WHIRR!

TITUS:
Or what? The Haven’s mine now, ‘Doctor’. There ain’t nothing ya can do without me knowing about it.

The only other thing resembling a ‘deleted scene’ is this sequence from part one, which I wrote to play in the background as the Doctor and Lucie are observed by the Assemblers.

FOLLOWING DIALOGUE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO GO UNDER THE DIALOGUE IN NEXT SCENE, WITH US HEARING ONLY BRIEF SNATCHES. THE DOCTOR AND LUCIE ARE BEING OBSERVED WALKING THE SPACESHIP CORRIDORS.

LUCIE:
So which way?

DOCTOR:
Down here looks promising.
 
LUCIE:
Yeah, because one tunnel is so different from any other.
 
DOCTOR:
Oh no. Oh no. Please, don’t say it.

LUCIE: 
Say what?

DOCTOR:
All these corridors look the same.

LUCIE:
Hey, now that you come to mention it... woah, what’s this?

DOCTOR:
What’s what? 

LUCIE:
Oi, shine that torch over here a minute. Hey, it’s a sign. And it’s in English! ‘Lower Transept.’ 

DOCTOR:
Interesting. 

LUCIE:
I’ll say. So whoever built this space station spoke English! 

DOCTOR: 
Not necessarily. The TARDIS telepathic circuits automatically translate writing and speech for you. I’m surprised you haven’t wondered why everywhere we go, everybody speaks English.

LUCIE:
Not really. I’d have been surprised if they all spoke French, though. God, wouldn’t that be weird? Just imagine it. Going somewhere and finding that everyone there spoke French!

DOCTOR:
Like France?

LUCIE:
Exactly!

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