The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Sunday, 20 September 2015

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Exclusive! A deleted scene from last night's Doctor Who: The Magician's Apprentice!



EXT. DELTA MAGNA. NIGHT.

The SWAMPIE ritual is in full flow. There are twenty of them, jogging on the spot, waving spears, thumping chests. Blazing torches.

SWAMPIES:
(ENERGETIC CHANT) Kroll! Kroll! Kroll! Kroll!

VOICE:
(EMBARRASSED COUGH)

SWAMPIES halt, mid-chant, and turn to see COLONY SARFF gliding towards them like one of the Gentlemen out of Buffy. He halts.

The SWAMPIES stare at him in astonishment.

SARFF:
Where... is... the... Doctor?

SWAMPIES look at each other, then back to SARFF.

SARFF:
Where... is... the... Doctor?

SWAMPIES shake their heads, shrug. 


SWAMPIE LEADER:
No idea, sorry.

SARFF narrows his eyes.

SARFF:
Are... you... sure... about that?

SWAMPIE LEADER:
Yep.

SARFF:
You’re... not... lying to me, by any chance, are you?

SWAMPIE LEADER:
Nope.
 
SWAMPIES try to avoid SARFF’s gaze. They glance around. One of them picks his fingernails. Another silently whistles. Another pretends to check his watch even though he isn’t wearing a watch.

SWAMPIE LEADER:
We haven’t seen him for ages. Sorry.


SARFF:
Can... you.. take a message?

The SWAMPIE LEADER shakes his head.

SARFF:
(WEARY SIGH) Fine. Fine. I can see I’m wasting my time here.

SARFF takes out a small clipboard and ticks off a name on a list.

SARFF:
(TO HIMSELF) ...Delta... Mag...na. Right... what’s next? Atrios. Right. Atrios.

SARFF revolves on the spot and heads off. The SWAMPIES resume their chant.

SWAMPIES:
Kroll! Kroll! Kroll!

SARFF:
(EMBARRASSED COUGH)

The SWAMPIES halt, to see SARFF has only moved about one yard.

SARFF:
Sorry. My Segway’s got stuck. Would one of you mind giving me a push?

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