The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Sunday, 13 September 2009

Wonderful Christmastime


More deleted scenes. I have loads of these. I'll do some more tomorrow and that'll be it for a while, I'll get back to Writing About Stuff rather than Copying And Pasting Things Where I Can Go Do You See What I Did There?

Today's CAPTWICGDYSWIDT is from the first draft of Flip-Flop. Two versions of the same scene - one from the black disc (which I wrote first), and one from the white disc (which I also wrote first). It's that sort of play. Complicated.

The note which changed these scenes was that there wasn't enough (or, indeed, any) jeopardy in the play and that the Doctor and Mel should be visiting the planet for a reason, a life-or-death reason. Good note. So I had them search for Leptonite, the only substance in the known universe that can put the kibosh on the villainous Quarks.

It's quite tonally different from the finished play - and the dialogue was written to have that deliberately tongue-in-cheek 'arch' quality that Doctor Who had with Sylvester McCoy and Bonnie Langford.

SCENE 2

[INSIDE THE TARDIS. THE ENGINES ARE GRUMBLING AND SHUDDERING IN PROTEST AT ANOTHER BAD LANDING. VARIOUS WARNING SOUNDS.]

MEL: [SHOUTING] Doctor! What’s happening!

[FX: THE DIN ABRUPTLY STOPS AS THE TARDIS LANDS WITH A CRUNCH.]

DOCTOR: Just some turbulence in the vortex, Mel.

MEL: I thought the ship was going to shake itself to pieces, and us with it!

DOCTOR: The landing may have been a little on the bumpy side...

MEL: Bumpy? I’m not inclined to use rude words, Doctor, but if I was, I’d use several to describe how “bumpy” that landing was.

DOCTOR: We’ve arrived bang [PAUSES AT CHOICE OF WORDS] on target. Christmas Eve on the planet Puxatornee in the year four thousand and ninety.

[FX: SCANNER ON]

MEL: When you promised me a Dickensian Christmas, Doctor, I was imagining roasting horse-chestnuts and ‘God Bless Us, Everyone’. Not... slums and workhouses.

DOCTOR: That doesn’t look like the Puxatornee I know.

MEL: What were you expecting?

DOCTOR: Cobbled streets and curiosity shops. The last time I visited here it was brimming with good cheer.

MEL: When was that?

DOCTOR: It was the year the Proxima Centuari All-Blacks did the double... four thousand and twelve.

MEL: That was seventy-eight years ago! Things are bound to have changed since then!

DOCTOR: For the worse, it seems.

MEL: It does look awfully grim. The sort of place that would have Lowry setting up his easel.

DOCTOR: I wonder what caused the shift in their fortunes...

MEL: You want to explore, don’t you?

DOCTOR: Don’t you, Mel?

MEL: No. Wouldn’t it be simpler to just go back in time and visit the planet while it’s still nice?

DOCTOR: No. I must find out what happened here.

MEL: Oh, all right.

DOCTOR: That’s the spirit. We’d better wrap up, it’s snowing heavily out there.

[...]

SCENE 39

[INSIDE THE TARDIS. BEGINS WITH A REPLAY OF SCENE 2. THE ENGINES ARE GRUMBLING AND SHUDDERING. VARIOUS WARNING SOUNDS.]

MEL: [SHOUTING] Doctor! What’s happening!

[FX: THE DIN ABRUPTLY STOPS AS THE TARDIS LANDS WITH A CRUNCH.]

DOCTOR: Just some turbulence in the vortex, Mel.

MEL: I thought the ship was going to shake itself to pieces, and us with it!

DOCTOR: The landing may have been a little on the bumpy side...

MEL: Bumpy? I’m not inclined to use rude words, Doctor, but if I was, I’d use several to describe how “bumpy” that landing was.

DOCTOR: We’ve arrived bang [PAUSES AT CHOICE OF WORDS] on target. Christmas Eve on the planet Puxatornee in the year four thousand and ninety.

[FX: SCANNER ON. A NEW SCENE FROM THIS POINT ON:]

MEL: When you promised me a Dickensian Christmas, Doctor, I imagined street urchins and plum pudding. Not... rubble and ruins.

DOCTOR: That doesn’t look like the Puxatornee I know.

MEL: What were you expecting?

DOCTOR: Street fairs and food stalls. The last time I came here it was a picture of prosperity.

MEL: When was that?

DOCTOR: It was the year that Droopy-electrix had their first number one... four thousand and twelve.

MEL: Seventy-eight years ago! Things are bound to have changed since then!

DOCTOR: And not for the better, it seems.

MEL: It does look dreadfully grim. The sort of place that would have Edgar Allan Poe reaching for his notebook... Doctor, wouldn’t it be simpler to just go back-

[FX: WARNING SOUND]

MEL: What’s that?

DOCTOR: The level of background radiation is slightly higher than I would like... No, I must find out what happened here.

MEL: Oh, all right. If you’re sure it’s safe?

DOCTOR: We’d better wrap up. It’s snowing heav
ily out there.

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