The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Monday, 26 October 2009

Mad Bears 1

The Story Of Goldilocks And The Three Bears (Part One)

Once upon a time there were three obsessive-compulsive bears. Mummy obsessive-compulsive bear, daddy obsessive-compulsive bear, and little baby obsessive-compulsive bear. Together they lived in a house, where they would spend their days scrubbing down the walls, dusting every surface, making sure all the electric appliances were switched off, washing their hands, and checking they hadn’t left the oven on. They lived together happily and very, very hygenically.

One day, the three bears had to pop out to go to the woods. Being bears, that’s where they liked to go when they wanted to go to the toilet, and because they didn’t like to have dirty, smelly things in the house. As usual, they spent half an hour making sure all the windows were double-locked and everything was unplugged at the mains before they left for the woods. Having pre-heated their morning breakfast of porridge to consume upon their return.

But while they were out, who should throw a brick through a rear upstairs window but Goldilocks! Having successfully broken in without detection, she skipped gaily downstairs to inspect the bear’s breakfasts. She was a big girl and liked her food.

She tried the first bowl of porridge. ‘Ugh. Too hot’. She tried the second one. ‘Ugh. Too cold’. The third bowl of porridge, however, was Just Right and she gobbled it all up.

Now she needed a sit down. She tried the first chair. ‘Ugh. Too big’. She tried the second chair. ‘Ugh. Also too big.’ The third chair, however, was Just Right and she had a good old wriggly-fidget sit down on her big sweaty bottom.

Having done this, Goldilocks suddenly felt very tired. So she went upstairs and tried out the bears’ beds. (As mummy and daddy bear were obsessive-compulsive, they slept in seperate beds for Reasons Of Personal Hygiene).

She tried the first bed. ‘Ugh. Too hard.’ She tried the second bed. ‘Ugh. Too soft’. The third bed, however, was Just Right and so she got into the bed and fell into a warm, snuggly sleep.

To Be Continued.

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