The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Thursday, 19 February 2009

(Keep Feeling) Fascination

(Time for) another pop list, courtesy of my iTunes.

(Song titles which start with) parentheses.

(Here’s a list of) some of the best. (It’s) alphabetical.

(As Long As They’ve Got) Cigarettes In Hell – Oasis
(Baby, Baby) Can I Invade Your Country? – Sparks
(Can I) Find The Right Words (To Say) - Blondie going for the double.
(Crazy For You But) Not That Crazy – Magnetic Fields being silly.
(Feels Like) Heaven – Fiction Factory
(I’m Always Touched By Your) Presence, Dear – Blondie again.
(I’m Not Your) Stepping Stone – Monkees
(I Got) The Fever – those wacky Oasis boys again.
(I Wanna Give You) Devotion – Nomad featuring MC Milkee Freedom. Quite why I have this in my iTunes, I don’t know.
(If Paradise Is) Half As Nice – Amen Corner
(It’s Good) To Be Free – Oasis a third time. Joke getting old now, fellas.
(Just Like) Starting Over – John Lennon
(Keep Feeling) Fascination – Human League. Definitive use of parenthesis.
(Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear – Elvis Presley
(Marie’s The Name) His Latest Flame – Elvis again.
(Nobody Does It Like) The Ukelele Man – Ivor Biggun. I’m so ashamed.
(Now And Then There’s) A Fool Such As I – Elvis catching up with Oasis.
(Probably) All In The Mind – Oasis nudging ahead again.
(Remember The Days Of The) Old School Yard – Cat Stevens
(There’s) Always Something There To Remind Me – Sandie Shaw. Most redundant use of parenthesis ever.
(‘Til) I Kissed You – Everly Brothers. Second most redundant use ever.
(We Don’t Need This) Fascist Groove Thing – Heaven 17
(We Want) The Same Thing – Belinda Carlisle
(You’ll Always Find Me In) The Kitchen At Parties – Jona Lewie
(You’re So Square) Baby I Don’t Care – Buddy Holly
(You’re The) Devil In Disguise – Elvis catching up on four...
(You’ve Got) The Heart Of A Star – Oasis, the winners on five.


  1. Amen Corner really aren't saying a lot are they? "If Paradise was half as nice as the heaven that you take me to, who needs paradise? I'd rather have you."
    Leaving aside the slightly elliptical style they're saying that given a choice between two things they'd rather than the one that was better. Damning with faint praise there.
    I suspect at some point in the song's composition the lyric was 'If Paradise was twice as nice...' but it was rejected for going a bit silly on the internal rhyming. I imagine the original lyricist argued that the substitution of 'half' made the song at best gibberish and at worst an insult to the person addressed but was over-ruled by band members more attuned to aesthetics than numeracy.
    I hope it was their biggest hit and they never made a penny due to mathematical naivety. It would be just and fitting.
    Now, you'll tell me everyone knows it's a cunningly crafted Biblical commentary, in which Amen Corner (religious name, religious guys) give praise to the Lord Jesus thanking him for the redemptive gift of His blood-and affirm their belief that the bliss of the afterlife by His side that He has given them through His self-sacrifice is superior to the prelapsarian state of bliss that existed in the Garden of Eden.
    My wife says I read too much into songs sometimes.

  2. You are exactly right, Mr P. The lyrics of (If Paradise Is) Half As Nice constitute a back-handed insult. And, as you say, they're basically saying, that if one thing is half as nice as another thing, then they'd rather have the second thing because it's twice as nice as the first thing, which in my book constitutes a meaningless tautology.

    Hippy drippy crap.

    RICHARD HERRINGS: Hey, Stew, have you noticed that most pop lyrics don't bear harsh logical scrutiny...

    (Though for one of my future blogs I fully intend to resolve the timing inconsistencies of ABBA's 'The Day Before You Came')

  3. I hope you will bear in mind the Scandinavian airing dates and times of Dallas. I'd argue that while she does seem to take a very early lunch I'll forgive her given she has an hour and a quarter commute, seems to work 'til gone six and grabs takeout food for a late tea. I suspect she skips breakfast.
    She must have terrible indigestion going to bed so early. No wonder she stays up reading.

  4. Oh no, hang on she leaves at five? And takes all that time getting a Chinese? Lazy cow. You've just ruined that song for me forever. Maybe she's gone part-time because of her pathetic self-obsessed neurotic chain smoking maudlin 'breakdown'?
    She needs a man in her life I reckon.