The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Monday, 16 February 2009

Pirate Aggro

The problem with internet piracy is not so much with the people downloading stuff – which isn’t stealing, it’s accepting stolen goods – but the people who upload stuff. I mean, why do they do it? It’s not out of selfless generosity is it?

No. It’s all an ego-trip. A way for someone who has no talent of their own to feel important. To feel they are sticking one over on ‘the man’ (a mythical figure who works mainly for the government but who occasionally moonlights for the recording industry). That somehow they are being a little bit clever, a little bit rock’n’roll. You can read their petty self-justifications all over the internet.

I don’t think calling it ‘piracy’ helps. Piracy summons up images of guys with Cornish accents who like to get into cutlass fights despite suffering a shortfall in the hands/legs/eyes/ears/noses/teeth department.

I suggest a different name. ‘Littledicking’. Let’s all start calling it that. There is far too much littledicking on the internet. Torrent sites are full of littledickers. The reason why indies are going the way of the pig-footed bandicoot is due to all the littledicks. The reason why labels don’t invest more in non-mainstream music is because, what with all the littledickage that's going on, it’s not worth it.

FWIW. I’m talking about littledicking in the sense of people who upload CDs (or whatever) the day they’re commercially released (or before). That’s the real problem. With regard to, say, people downloading TV shows from other territories, it’s more a matter of TV distributors and channels not getting their arses together so that shows are legitimately available everywhere at the same time. In those cases – where there is no available commercial option – I suppose it’s okay if people want to leech off any littledicks that are sticking up.


  1. You're right, it was interesting. And the thing is, while a few years ago it was only artists and media companies who were worried about copyright protection, now everyone has copyrights they want to protect; after all, if it's okay for someone to distribute the latest Britney Spears CD online without her record comapny's permission, then it's equally okay for them to distribute all the photos you're stuck up on Facebook without your permission...

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