The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

I'm So Excited

TV executives are, without exception, intelligent, erudite, and genuinely enthusiastic people; that’s so true it's very nearly a fact. But you wouldn’t think that from reading the press releases. You’d think they were either insincere corporate noddies or suffering from a Sunny Delight overdose. Because they’re so bloody excited all the time.

You name it, any new show, and the executive responsible will say they are ‘excited’ about it. One wonders quite how excited they are by the process of commissioning, say, a programme in which Adrian Chiles visits the UK’s top fifteen cheese museums. Is there a quickening of the pulse? The breaking of a sweat? Are they aroused sexually? Are they enduring sleepless nights, such is the fervour of their anticipation? Is theirs an excitement which they are unable to contain? Do they find themselves dancing on their desks, a-whooping and high-fiving with glee?

No, of course not. That would be sectionable. I realise I’m reitering David Mitchell’s rant on passion and that he’s funnier than me, but I don’t care - I was genuinely excited to write this blog.

Of course, these press releases are written by a press-release monkey (one of those chimps that’ll eventually knock up Hamlet) - the executive merely signs off on it. Claiming that the executive is ‘excited’ is merely part of the formula along with summing up a show with three adjectives which are either mutually exclusive or mean precisely the same thing.

This formula is irritating, partly because it insults the intelligence of the reader and does a disserve to the sincerity and eloquence of the TV executive, and partly because, like the boy who cried wolf, you’ve left wondering what they would be left to say if they actually were excited by something – and whether anyone would still believe them.

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