The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Mr Robinson's Quango

HUW EDWARDS:
And now we go over live to Nick Robinson, for more details on that story.

(CUT TO: NICK ROBINSON)

NICK ROBINSON:
Thank you Huw, on what must be one of the grimmest days for Gordon Brown as Prime Minister. If only he’d listen to me! (SIGH) If you’ll remember, it all started yesterday when I broke this story on the ten o’clock news’.

(CUT TO: NICK ROBINSON. PICTURE HAS BEEN POINTLESSLY DEGRADED TO SIGNIFY ‘THE PAST’)

NICK ROBINSON:
But more trouble lies in store for Gordon Brown tomorrow. If only he’d listen to me! (SIGH) I spoke to him a few minutes ago, when I asked him this question.

(CUT TO: PRESS CONFERENCE)

NICK ROBINSON:
Prime Minister? A bad day tomorrow?

(CUT BACK TO: NICK ROBINSON)

NICK ROBINSON:
To which the Prime Minister gave an extensive and detailed reply which I'm not going to tell you. Instead, I’ll tell you what I thought of it - although he came across as outwardly positive, in my opinion he was merely trying to disguise his feelings of utter dejection. Huw.

(CUT BACK TO: NICK ROBINSON)

NICK ROBINSON:
That was me, yesterday, reporting on the news that I had asked the Prime Minister a question. Since then I’ve spoken to several members of the cabinet who did not wish to be identified on account of the fact that I’ve just made them up, who all made it clear that this had been an extremely bad day for the Prime Minister and who all agreed that I would do a much better job - if only they’d listen to me! (SIGH) But instead I’m going to end this report on a meaningless non-sequitur. Because one thing's for sure - in politics, as in life, only time can tell. Huw.

3 comments:

  1. Aha.

    So you'll be in the "Nick Robinson is totally biased AGAINST the government" camp, then?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm in the "Nick Robinson is totally biased against everyone who isn't Nick Robinson" camp.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's the Nick Robinson known in our household as "Nick 'Mate of Dave' Robinson," then...

    You're spot-on.

    ReplyDelete